Aug
12

I Think Some Japanese People Want To Speak English

Why to Japanese people answer me in English when I speak to them in Japanese?

A question that many foreign Japanese-speakers find themselves asking at one point or another.

I had been speaking Japanese outside of Japan for about a year when I first set foot in Tokyo. I landed in the country excited to exercise my language skills and headed right to the nearest JR ticket counter to ask for a map and to buy some tickets.

Prepared with my Japanese language skills and a level on confidence which was probably undeserved at the time, I walked up to the counter and made my request in full Japanese. The staff smiled, opened a drawer, and replied to me in what I can only describe as a near-embarrassing attempt at English which came out jumbled and incomprehensible…

I stood, confused.

Why… why when I spoke to her in Japanese, did she answer me in English? And in broken English at that…

I couldn’t understand what she said but didn’t want to make her feel as low as she had just made me feel, and so I put on a smile in return and nodded my head pretending to understand what she had just said to me.

This is a situation that is all-too-familiar for foreigners in Japan.
You say something to a Japanese person in Japanese, and they respond in English.
It’s frustrating.

When I first got to Japan, this bothered me like crazy… It would happen at restaurants, on airplanes, while shopping, and even with friends. And especially in the beginning it felt like a punch in the stomach every single time.
I would always doubt my Japanese skill when it happened. I would wonder if my Japanese was so bad that they felt the need to push the interaction into English just to achieve an acceptable level of communication with me…

But over the years, as my Japanese language skills developed and grew in fluency, elegance, and overall pzazz, I came to realize that it was time to adjust my confidence level. It seemed that my nihongo skill level had little, if nothing, to do with it. The more I improved, the more my confidence grew. And the more my confidence in m Japanese skill grew, the more I began to understand that Some Japanese people just want to speak English.  And the more I understood this point, the less I cared when it happened. In fact, it has worked itself comfortably and naturally into my life to the point where I barely notice anymore.
But that doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed by everyone. Japanese people responding to your nihongo in English can be everything from discouraging to shocking, or for some, even embarrassing or disappointing.

On numerous occasions, I have had to laugh as I hear people say things like “I have had more chances to speak Japanese in my own country then when I visited Japan. Everyone here seems to want to practice their English”
Why do I laugh? Because it’s true.

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to meet more Japanese people in social and business situations than I can even count. And I have found that there are 4 main types of English-speaking Japanese people that you will commonly encounter:

 

Type A – Can’t Speak English, But Want To

This type is pretty much harmless. They are generally friendly and may simply be fascinated with foreigners or English but had little chance in their life to use or try it. At the very worst, they are the type who view gaijin as a brand, and may even go through great efforts to befriend you.
Some people will take their attempts at English as “microaggressions” (aka a mild, unintentional form of racism), but in the end, I think it holds more of a child-like curiosity tone to it. (I once went a little far with this analogy comparing it to a young child seeing a new animal for the first time, and mimicking the animals sound in the hopes of achieving communication. They might just wanna be friends! – this analogy was not well taken by some. lol)

 

Type B – Can Speak English, But Have No Confidence

This type, much like Type A, are relatively harmless. Chances are, unless you actually ask them, or unless someone else says something, you may not even know that they speak English. They come in all shapes and personality types, and usually had a rather specific reason for studying English in the first place (whether it was for a certain goal, or simply a strong personal interest). While still very much aware of the fact that you are a foreigner (and potentially more aware than Type A of what that really means), Type B will usually be happy as long as they can communicate with you.

 

Type C – Can Speak English, But Don’t Really Care

I like this type. They can speak English, but will typically carry the communication with you in whatever language you set as the precedent. More often than not, the language will jump back and forth seamlessly in conversation with them, and there is more often than not, a general feeling of equality. Type C is the truly internationally-minded type and unfortunately they are also the rarest type.

 

Type D – Can Speak English And Want To Show It

This is the type to watch out for. They are the ones who will blatantly ignore your Japanese and respond with English, and they are commonly a little different from the average Japanese person. These people see English as “cool” and therefore want to be seen/heard speaking it as often as possible. Unfortunately, this usually comes from a deep seeded issue with their self-esteem, and therefore it doesn’t stop with English. It is far from uncommon for these people to be disliked by fellow Japanese and foreigners alike for being condescending or generally annoying.

Note: I have purposefully left out 2 types from this list
Type P, which are people like the JR staff above, who may just be doing it for the sake of “professionalism” and making things easier.
and Type O, which are the elderly people who will approach you in any range of situations just to practice their English.
I have left these types out, because 9 times out of 10, the person in types P or O will also overlap into one of the above 4 types.

So when it comes down to it, there is only one type that you really need to be concerned about; Type D. But even though three out of four sounds like pretty good odds, it’s still a little tough to put a population percentage statistic to each type, so it’s still up to you to identify and adjust your social filter.

I was going to add an entire section talking about what do do when a Japanese person responds to your Japanese in English, but instead, I’d really like to hear your thoughts. What do you do in that situation?

 

Closing Thought…
The scary part is that if you really think about it… You could apply almost every point in this to foreigners who speak Japanese….

 

 

Jul
30

Being Stared at by Japanese People

“I’m sick and tired of being stared at by Japanese people all day, every day, everywhere I go.“, said the Australian man in his late 20′s sitting 2 tables away.

To which his friend replied, “Then go back to Australia.”

This is Japan. And if you are foreign, chances are that people are going to stare at you.
It doesn’t seem to matter that we are living in the 21st century,  and that foreigners, or gaijin are no longer a rarity in Japan. People stare. And it’s probably not going to go away any time soon.

And while I would think it safe to assume that this staring at foreigners phenomenon would be more common in areas where there are less foreigners, in my experience, it has actually been quite the opposite.
While in Tokyo, I am stared at on a regular basis, I find that in the countryside, mountains, small towns, and minor fishing villages, etc.. (I… travel a lot for work) I am more or less treated… well… a little more normally.
People will make passing eye contact, nod, greet, or generally treat me the same as any other visitor. In smaller towns when someone does stare at me, I can usually expect it to be followed with some form of (attempted) conversation. Which all-in-all, if I have the time, is never a bad thing.

And while some of this could be chopped up to good old fashioned small town hospitality, it doesn’t change the fact that from time to time, some foreigners might want to be invisible too.

Some people are bothered by this. In fact, some people are seemingly overly bothered by this… to the point of starting fights or even changing seats/train cars/etc.. just to get away from it.

I was unfortunate enough to witness a North American man in his late 30′s freak out on a Japanese man on a train a few years back, just because the Japanese man was staring.
Now in his defense, the Japanese man had been staring relentlessly for about 25 minutes straight when the gaijin man, who was growing increasingly uncomfortable and irritated throughout the duration of the train ride, finally snapped.
He stood up, walked right up to the Japanese man and started yelling, “WHAT?! …SERIOUSLY?!?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!…..”
I wish I had more of a story here for you, but I was somewhat embarrassed to be in the same train car at the time, and decided it might be best to switch cars.

I guess everyone has their own feelings when it comes to being stared at…

For me it has become a part of life in Japan that has seemingly faded into the background like the noisy pachinko parlors or the vending machines that sell neckties and beer. From time to time I will notice, but for the most part I don’t.

When I first came to Japan, being stared at was a point that really stood out to me (especially being stared at on a train… I felt like there was no escape), and whenever I was with Japanese friends, I would always ask the golden question:

Why do Japanese people always stare at gaijin (foreigners)?

And with the number of times I have asked that question, I find it amazing that the only seemingly legitimate answer I ever received is, “Because we can. Japanese people can’t stare at other Japanese people, but for some reason we feel that staring at a foreigner is something we can get away with.”

But I guess when it comes down to it, we have to accept that there’s nothing we can do about being stared at.
Or is there…?

While most people who notice, simply choose to ignore it or pretend that they are sleeping, some people choose to have a little more fun with it.

My old roommate J, used to make a game of it by seeing how long he could hold eye contact with people. (surprisingly, top record sits over two and a half minutes!)
A Swedish girl that works in the same building as me uses it as an opportunity to show off her magic tricks with coins, pencils, etc..
And my friend’s son (9-yrs-old) has made it routine to get into games of peek-a-boo or rock-paper-scissors with people who stare at him! (props to the minor on the creativity here lol)

But I think one of the more well known ideas comes from an artist named Arni Kristjansson.
Arni designed a (very legitimate looking) book cover which has been dubbed The Staring Book.

The Staring Book book-cover makes any book you are reading, look like a fictional book called, “日本人はなぜ外国人を見つめる？“　(Why do Japanese People Stare at Foreigners?) and has built quite a following. The cover has been featured on such sites as CNNGo, and Rocketnews24 and for anyone interested, is download-able in PDF format on Arni’s page!

Everybody has their own way of perceiving and reacting to being stared at.
And whether it drives you to the point of emotional breakdowns on the Tokyo subway system, or doesn’t faze you at all, it’s safe to say that it comes with the territory.

So if you are in Japan and hate being stared at, get a book cover, play some peek-a-boo, do a magic trick or two, or as the Australian guys friend said, go home.

 

Jun
28

Making The Best Of It – J’s Story – (The Hottest Brand in Japan Pt. II)

J made his living off of Japanese women. And quite a living it was.

In case the title didn’t tip you off, this piece is an addition to The Hottest Brand In Japan.
If you haven’t read it, I would suggest starting there~

The day I met my old roommate J for the first time, these words rang in my mind,

Japanese people love something exotic. Have you seen all those strange flavors of Pepsi in the convenience stores? We live on an island. An island filled with Japanese people, ruled by Japanese culture, and share a similar Japanese way of thinking. So what could be more exotic to a Japanese person than someone/something not Japanese? Even now [in 2010], most Japanese people cannot speak English, and so even the thought of interacting with a foreigner is unfathomable to some people. Which means when a Japanese person looks at another Japanese person who is hanging out with a foreigner, they see someone doing the unimaginable. It’s like watching someone do magic!! And everyone loves magic tricks right? So, we love to be seen with foreigners. For some it is a novelty, and for some it becomes a lifestyle, but it is what it is and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon, so it’s better to just make the best of it.

“Make the best of it….”

That is exactly what J did.

J came to Tokyo from New Zealand around 2006 and noticed within hours of setting foot in Tokyo how much of a brand foreigners are in Japan. J had started out as an English teacher which helped him earn decent money, but he wasn’t really enjoying it. Luckily for J, it was something he wouldn’t have to endure for long.
Within 2 months, J realized that he could cash-in the gaijin brand, and started making some adjustments.

“It started out with one of my private English students” J started to tell me.
“She was a Japanese woman, 39, single, and living with her parents. She seemed to have a lot of free time and money…
At the start she was paying me 5,000 yen (about $50-70) an hour for our lessons, and we would meet about twice a week for 2 hours at a time. But gradually things changed. The location changed from a cafe, to a bar, and then finally restaurants, with her paying for everything. And just as gradually, we stopped working on English… Before I knew it we were speaking only Japanese. And she was still paying. On top of all of this, she started asking to see me more often, and for longer durations. Before I knew it she was buying me clothing and even having me accompany her to events”

J quit his job as a formal English Teacher and started trying to build more of a base of similar clients. He said that he started with online sites introducing him to private students, and he would try to convert the students into clients.

“Probably only 1 in every 10 or 12 students became a client. And most who didn’t, realized what I was trying to do and would either get upset or stop contacting me completely. Some even accused me of being a himo (a weak man who lives off the money of women and pays for nothing himself). And as right as they were, the ones who stuck around made it all worthwhile”

Within 5 months of coming to Japan, J had a substantial client base and was bringing in a shocking amount of money on a monthly basis. He was well fed, well dressed, and even had one client offering to move him into an apartment near her family’s house and pay the rent for him.

“Most of these Japanese women just wanted to be seen with me.” J said as we talked about his clients one night.
“They take me out to crowded areas and packed restaurants, dress me up in clothes that they think are ideal, and keep me latched onto their side as if I was an expensive handbag.”

And although for some, this may sound like a wonderful way to live, J was equally vocal about the downsides.

“Outside of any moral talk, there are 2 major issues that I constantly have to face.”
These are the words that J placed in my hears in the first of our 11,083 discussions about the problematic side of his himo lifestyle.
“Scheduling and Sex. Most of these women want to meet on Fridays or Saturdays. But my biggest clients usually want to meet on these days and typically can’t commit until the last minute. So I am constantly pressed for excuses as to why I can’t meet people on these days, and then if none of my big clients take the weekend bait, I am either screwed for one of my biggest money-making nights of the week, or stuck apologizing to one of my other clients as I crawl back to them.”

I honestly can’t count the number of times I had to hear him complain about scheduling. He always seemed to work out a new system for scheduling, and something always happened causing it to fall through. And then, there were the sex talks…

“And sex… You just know that at one point or another, she is going to want sex. And the sex… oh the sex is a double edged sword my friend. A real balancing act. Simply put, there is a trend. The longer I manage to hold out sex, the more gifts I get, and the more time and money they put into me in hopes of it. But if I hold out too long, they eventually give up all hope and stop wanting to see me. And once they have finally gotten the sex, things get… well… awkward. They start forgetting to pay, and I conveniently forget to mention anything about it. I honestly just don’t want their money afterwords. And so they either gradually fade away and we lose contact, or they suddenly think that we are in a relationship, and well… that never ends well. So, sex… costs me clients.”

J hated losing clients. And when I say that he hated it, I am wildly understating the point. J would go into a funk for days after losing a client, and this funk more often than not, caused him to lose one or two more additional clients.
He always said that it was the loss of the client that bothered him, but I’d be willing to put good money on the fact that he was struggling to convince himself that he was not engaging in, well…. prostitution.

“I’m not taking money from these Japanese women for sex, so I am not prostituting”
That was his logic. And no matter what anyone said, he always defended himself with that point.

Eventually it got to a point where he didn’t even need to convert students. Women found J.
He came home late one Tuesday night full of energy and alcohol.

“So I was sitting in the park reading when this Japanese woman into her 40′s comes up and starts asking me all the typical gaijin questions. Her English was shit, but before long we were talking in Japanese and out of nowhere she smiles and tells me that she wants to take me out for dinner. So after 10 more minutes of blah blah blah, we walk out of the park and head for a restaurant. Not only did she pay for dinner and 2 bottles of wine, but as I went to get on the train she slipped me 10,000 yen (about $100)! Considering the time I spent with her, it’s lower than what I usually take in, but shit man… she came up to me!”

And so it began. This particular Japanese woman was the first of many who would somehow follow in her path in the months (and years?) to come…

In our late night talks, J always shared what he called the Incredibly Shallow Quotes of the Week with me.
I was always dumbfounded by the stuff these women would say to him.
Some of the weekly winners include:

You are the best accessory I have ever put money into!

I want the b#$% next-door to see me with a foreigner.

Having a white guy beside me helps show people just how smooth and white my skin really is!

You should bring some of your white friends so it looks like I know a lot of foreigners!

And my personal favorite:
Gucci on my left, gaijin on my right. I’m hot today!

J would always talk about how you can’t change the culture or the habits of an entire country, but you can capitalize on it and turn it into something good, or at least something profitable.
Despite all of J’s money and (success?) with his lifestyle, he was surprisingly jaded and negative when it came to Japanese people. He even got a custom shirt made with the words “The deepest part of a Japanese person is their wallet” printed on it.
I guess money doesn’t always buy happiness (cliche enough for ya?).

I always enjoyed the irony of a guy who took money from women in exchange for spending time with them, talking about how shallow and pretentious people can be. There was something poetic about the whole situation.

After about a year of living with J, I moved out. But that wasn’t before hearing some of the most amazing stories that I have ever had the opportunity to hear in my entire life~

J and I don’t talk anymore, but I think back to him from time to time.

Gotta wonder what J is doing right about now…

Jun
25

The Hottest Brand in Japan

Some people would call Japan and it’s people pretentious.

Take a walk through the streets of Tokyo’s Ginza district on any Sunday of the month, and you will have a fair idea of why they might think this way. And while there is much to be said on this statement alone, I will leave that for another post.

It is a well known fact that Japanese people love brand-names. A Japanese girl I met back in my university days owned a wallet that cost her over 150,000 yen (roughly $1,500 -$ 1750) and when I asked her how she got it, she told me that she worked an entire summer just for the sake of purchasing this single wallet…

And this love for brands doesn’t just come in the form of wallets, bags, and clothes… It reaches its way into everything from food and drinks, to schools, and even… people…

My name is X and I am a brand-name foreigner.

That’s right. Brand Name.
No, it’s not that I own many brands… in fact, I have never really been a fan of them. But rather, in this strange country known as “Japan”, I am a brand. And a seemingly fancy one at that!

I was inspired to pull this piece together after remembering a day many years ago when I was walking hand-in-hand with a Japanese girl in a countryside town near Kyushu. We walked past a group of girls who with eyes open wide, spit out a line that left me speechless:

“いいな～あたしも外人欲しい~！オシャレ！” (Aww~ I want a foreigner too! So fashionable!)

Me = Floored.

Now it is no secret that Japanese think it’s cool to speak English.
And it is no secret that Japanese think it’s cool to have foreign friends.
But it comes to a point where the line needs to be drawn.

If you read my post about finding your own in Japan, you will know how strongly I feel about re-calibrating our social filters in order to avoid unnecessary stresses. In my first few years in Japan, I met a great number of people. And while some turned out to be true friends, others seemed to have ulterior motives.

Years ago, I was (or at least thought I was) good friends with a Japanese man that we will call ‘Tak‘.
Tak was a pretty average Japanese guy aside from the fact that he spent his university days overseas in an English-speaking country. This is where we met.
When I met Tak, he went through truly great lengths to get to know me, and work his way into my social circle.
We spent several years together, studying, drinking, and generally just hanging out. Tak was even kind enough to show me around Tokyo and introduce me to a staggering number of his friends the first time I visited.
But when I moved to Tokyo, the nuance of our friendship seemed to shift.

When I arrived back in Japan, Tak insisted on getting together with me in the first week, and I happily obliged. He said that he wanted more than anything to introduce me to his new girlfriend, and as a long time friend, I looked forward to meeting her. But when he introduced me with the line, “This is X. He is one of my foreign friends!!”, to which she responded with “aww~ I wish I had foreign friends”, it set off a little light in my head and reminded me of a warning I once received from perhaps one of the most cynical Japanese friends I ever made. Her words rang in my ear,

You really shouldn’t trust Japanese people who try too hard to be your friend. To some Japanese people, foreigners are just like brands; Being seen with one is good for your image.

But after our dinner together, I felt re-assured that he was still the same great guy, and he just wanted to introduce me to his girl. That is, until the next time he invited me out…

We got together for dinner with one of his co-workers for dinner a couple weeks later. It was at this dinner, that I was introduced as one of his many ‘Gaijin’ friends. After which he proceeded to nearly ignore his co-worker and speak to me in English the entire night. The co-worker could not understand English.
When the co-worker finally commented on his own lack of English skill, without skipping a beat, Tak spit out the words, “X will teach you English! In fact, he’ll teach you for free!”

WHAT?! oh no no no…. I am not an English teacher.
… but that as well, is for another post…

Long story short, Tak and I exchanged  words. But in the end, he tried to pull the exact same routine 2 more times.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, and you’re a dick.

Tak was a lesson learned. But in the end he only serves as an example of a single area of this issue…

One of the Japanese guys who works in my office has a girlfriend who is from Poland. He seems to genuinely care for her and always treats her with respect. But every single time he meets a new Japanese person in a social setting, like clockwork, he manages to work the line “my girlfriend is a foreigner” into the conversation.
It’s actually quite impressive.

Add to this, the number of times I have had a Japanese girlfriend use the words “Let’s go out somewhere today! I want to show you off!”, and you have somewhat of an epidemic….

Back in 2010 my best friend’s (Japanese) girlfriend pretty much summed it up:

Japanese people love something exotic. Have you seen all those strange flavors of Pepsi in the convenience stores? We live on an island. An island filled with Japanese people, ruled by Japanese culture, and share a similar Japanese way of thinking. So what could be more exotic to a Japanese person than someone/something not Japanese? Even now [in 2010], most Japanese people cannot speak English, and so even the thought of interacting with a foreigner is unfathomable to some people. Which means when a Japanese person looks at another Japanese person who is hanging out with a foreigner, they see someone doing the unimaginable. It’s like watching someone do magic!! And everyone loves magic tricks right? So, we love to be seen with foreigners. For some it is a novelty, and for some it becomes a lifestyle, but it is what it is and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon, so it’s better to just make the best of it.

And that is exactly what some people do…
I once lived with a guy from NZ who made his living off of capitalizing on this very point!

And honestly speaking, if this is the biggest of your problems while in Japan, I think it’s safe to say that you’re doing pretty good for yourself…

May
26

Finding Your Own in Japan

Culture Shock. Two words that mean so much to so many.

While to some people, culture shock in Japan may be as simple as having difficulty adjusting to Japanese food, it can be something much more serious for others. There are countless people who come to Japan and for some reason, become bitter, or shut off. They take shots at Japanese people and culture, and confine themselves to a very minimal social circle.

I’m going to go ahead and say that I am pretty much stating the obvious with this post, but it is an obvious point that is commonly and easily overlooked by so many people who come to Japan.

I truly believe that when living in Japan (especially a place like Tokyo) it is important more than ever, to surround yourself with people who match you. Not just fellow foreigners, but Japanese people who have similar mindsets, ideas, opinions, feelings, etc…
Obvious enough yet? Keep reading~

I have been living with and around Japanese people for over a decade now. And you don’t make the conscious choice to stick with something for over 10 years if you don’t like it.
And while my life right now is more or less exactly how I would like it to be, it wasn’t always this way…
The first while of my life in Japan was stressful. I went through a wide range of thoughts, feelings, and emotions and  spent years thinking,
- My personality didn’t match Japan or Japanese people
- My opinions were too strong (which still might be accurate haha)
- My ideas were unreasonable
- My words and actions were unacceptable
- My emotions were too rampant
- My clothing wasn’t fashionable enough
- My Japanese was first too casual, then too formal, then too feminine, then good to a point where people got irritated when I didn’t understand something they said
Etc….

Now, I have always been the type to voice what is on my mind and I have always enjoyed talking about Japan, life in Japan, and Japanese culture. And after some time and a large number of discussions with people ranging from tourists, to even psychologists here in Japan, things started to become more clear.

There is a phenomenon behind this that the majority of people don’t pick up on.
In the country we are raised in, we spend our lives filtering our social interactions. When we are in elementary school and high school, we often go through a stressful or awkward period where we are trying to find who we are. During this period, we interact with a wider range of people. Most of these people wont match us, but some do. And these few that do, often end up becoming our social circle.

From the time we develop our social circle, we (whether consciously or not) gain a more full understanding of the type of people who match us and the type that don’t. This understanding eventually becomes our social filter and we carry it with us wherever we go in life.
But this filter is not a broad one. For the most part, it covers personality types that we have grown to know and understand in a culture that we have an embedded understanding of, and overall comfort in.

So what does all this mean?

It means that when we come to a new country (like Japan) many people, if not all people, are essentially starting over.

Most people’s social filters will take time to adjust to a new culture and new set of personality types, and most people don’t even realize that this is what happens. Especially people who come to Japan at a later age, or people who truly believe that they have a complete understanding of Japanese people and Japanese culture, tend to suffer.

In our home country, with our social filter in place, we tend to interact the most with people who we feel will match us, and filter out the rest so effortlessly that they don’t have a chance to really enter our minds or our opinions. By the time we reach adulthood, most of us have gotten this down to an art form without even realizing it.
As we get older, our social filter gets a little lazy. We become less accepting and tend to generalize more (e.g. I get along well with foodies, but I don’t like bikers, etc…). And this is where the danger come in.
The majority of people move to Japan after reaching adulthood. At which point, not only is their social filter adjusted for life in Japan, but it’s also set up to generalize in very broad terms. Starting to see where the danger comes in?

And this can easily lead to a person thinking Japanese are rude, or I don’t get along with Japanese women/men, or even all Japanese people are racist.

Because of this, there are many people who either spend their time in Japan thinking that Japanese people in general aren’t for them, or even go so far as to give up on living in Japan and leave.
Now, don’t get me wrong. There are just as many people who manage to adjust and quickly find a group of friends/colleagues/comrades who match themselves, and never experience this side of culture shock and the stresses that come with it.

The important thing to take away from this is that Japan is really no different from any other country. Japanese people, just like the people of any other country in the world run a wide range of personality types.
Some of these people will match you in every way, but most won’t.
The most dangerous and unfortunate thing that you can do is generalize all Japanese people into one broad category.
In the end, you are only putting undue stress on yourself and potentially creating a tainted view for yourself.

This article, is one that I will continue to update and re-write but for now I will publish it as-is. And we would all love to hear your thoughts and comments, so please toss them in below.

 

May
13

Sleepy Japanese People – Dont Sleep on Me

The Japanese sleep everywhere. It’s actually quite amazing and it was something I didn’t expect when I first came to Japan.

If I were to ask you what Japan is famous for, what would you say?

If you ask most people outside of Japan this question, you will most likely get answers like samurai, ninja, geisha, sumo, hello kitty, etc… If you ask people living in the country, someone is bound to bring up the incredible and undeniable ability that Japanese people have to sleep anywhere and in any position.

Japanese people seem to have no qualms with sleeping in public, and with even the most minimal amount of research, one can pull up countless blogs, articles, youtube videos and more….

In fact just for good measure, here is a list of a few of my favorite posts:

LoneleePlanet.com

http://www.loneleeplanet.com/2010/01/publicly-sleeping-salarymen/

A great post that not only features some very interesting photos,
but also breaks them down into interestingly named categories!

Kirainet.com
http://www.kirainet.com/english/japanese-sleeping/
An interesting post with some really good shots of J-Sleepers

JapanTalk.com
http://www.japan-talk.com/jt/new/how-to-sleep-in-japan
A great set of photos with an opener that would almost encourage giving it a try~

OneInchPunch.net
http://www.oneinchpunch.net/2007/09/08/sleeping-japanese-people-in-public/
Another decent photo post of Japanese people sleeping in public
*Spoiler Alert* – Last pic is not for the weak-of-stomach…

All of these illustrate the point pretty well. And I have quite the collection of my own photos that I may get around to adding to this post in the near future.
As you can see, Japanese people have managed to do what they have done with so many other simple daily tasks and actions and get the whole sleeping in public skill down to an incomparable art form. We can try to mimic it, but we will never do it quite as well, or in such impressive numbers.

So a fair question to be asking at this point is, ‘if you’re so for Japanese people passing out in public, then where’s the problem?’
The problem lies in that while I may get a hoot out of seeing Japanese people passed out on the streets, trains, toilets, temples, and whatever other locations they choose for their one-man slumber parties, I have no patience for that ever so infamous moment when the person sitting beside me on the train passes out and figures it a good idea to utilize me as their pillow…

Simply put, I do not like when people fall asleep on me on the train.

Most Japanese people will tell you there are 3 common ways of reacting to this situation.
People either:
a) Act as if nothing is happening at all (or even accommodate the sleeper in some way)
b) Get uncomfortable and discreetly try and either get away, or move the sleeper
c) Move or wake-up the sleeper with little-to-no hesitation

I would safely fall under category (c).
Now don’t get me wrong… It’s not that I don’t appreciate the warm sentiment or that I hate human contact, but rather that I find it unbelievably rude and inconsiderate. I am shocked that in a country where it is custom that while riding a train, you speak in a quiet voice, and never use your cellphone, that people find it A-OK to just pass out on the people around them.

Actually, there was an exact moment that triggered this post.
It was a short while ago, and I was on the morning train with one of my Japanese co-workers. We had been on the train for about 10 minutes when the girl beside me started to lean my way. She was a young girl, probably in her mid-20′s. She had the big hair, the fake eyelashes, the platform heels, and that smell that usually only comes from someone who has been out all-night and is making an early-morning return to their 1-room apartment after.
As she started to slowly lean my way, I knew I was in an undesirable position…

In any normal situation, I would have just nudged her and woken her up. Or maybe even changed seats. But this day was different.
I had a Japanese co-worker with me, and if you have read my post about working with Japanese people, you can understand that the last thing I wanted was to lose face.
And so… I let her sleep.

But at what cost? Really… What could the danger be… right?
Well, it turns out that the danger was that this wonderful young lady, was kind enough to share some of her make-up. With my suit.

But it’s ok right? Because I managed to save face with this Japanese co-worker.
Or at least that’s how I tried to view it.
Until we got to work and the rest of the Japanese staff spent the day staring at the make-up stain…
Did anyone say anything to me about it? – No.
Did my morning comrade have the decency to explain about it? – No.
So I’m pretty sure we can all guess what they were thinking….

All of this undue stress combined with the cleaning bill for my jacket, and you have to wonder,

How has this become a social norm in a country where people typically go out of their way to avoid bothering others?!

You have to stop and wonder at some point whether or not it is all really an accident.

I watched to strangers fall asleep on each other just the other night, and as the train ride went on, they seemed to be getting more and more comfortable with each other. It was a Tuesday night, it was fairly early, and neither one of them seemed to be intoxicated…
The girl fell asleep first. Her head slowly fell to the guys shoulder. And then, magically the guy started to fall asleep as well. Within seconds, her head was on his shoulder, and his head was resting on hers.
They stayed like this for a good 20 minutes or more, and the longer they stayed in that position, the more suspicious the whole thing became…

If you think about it. Even when people do fall asleep on the train, they usually wake up (or at least half wake up) at each station. Right?

So how is it that neither one of these 2 woke up even once in the span of over 10 stations…?

When I first released this post, there was a lot of comments by people who said that they didn’t mind as long as the person who fell asleep on them in the train was both, of the opposite gender, and attractive. So I talked to a few of my friends and co-workers and found that a large majority of people here in Japan feel this way.

“it’s not crazy to imagine that some people might actually enjoy the physical contact. Even if it IS from a stranger“, Said one of my co-workers.

But in the end, it’s still not for me. So Dear Japan, please don’t sleep on me.

 

Apr
02

Why I Avoid Helping People in Tokyo

I was always raised to believe that we should help our fellow man. If someone is struggling, we should assist. If someone is in trouble, we should help. If someone drops something, we should pick it up for them.
But after years in Tokyo I have learned that this is not the case.

Speaking more accurately, it would be safe to say that this is not the case if you want to live a normal and happy life. Time and time again I have been through experiences that have proven to me that helping other people in Tokyo is more trouble than it’s worth. I have seen countless examples of this in a wide variety of situations ranging from being detained for three and a half hours after trying to help a woman who was suddenly grabbed by a guy on the train (while other ‘Japanese’ who helped were released within minutes), to having the better part of my afternoon eaten away because I decided to turn in a wallet I found on the ground.

And that’s where we will start this post. A seemingly harmless wallet. Sitting on the ground. I see it. I stop. I think. And then I make a terrible decision… I think to myself “whoa… a wallet. That’s pretty important… I better turn that in!“. (stupid, Stupid, Stupid).

It was a Sunday morning around 11 am. I’ll never forget that because I was on my way out to meet some friends that I hadn’t seen in years and we were going to have lunch together at noon. I was on my way to the station when I found a simple black wallet laying on the ground. With the koban (police box) being only about 100-200 meters away, I thought I would quickly drop it off before I hopped on the train. So I picked it up, and swung into the koban.

The initial reaction of the police was to greet me with a smile and to clear off the table where they keep the map, probably assuming that I was there to ask directions .  Anyone who has spent a long enough time in Tokyo, will tell you that the police are always much more friendly if they think you’re a tourist (For more tips on how to deal with Japanese police, please subscribe and wait for my post Japanese Police).

But the moment that I presented the wallet and began to explain (in Japanese) that it was found on the ground roughly 200 meters from here, things changed. For the most part, the majority of the officers were seemingly fine with the situation, however 2 of them stood staring at me as if I had just committed murder.

One of the nicer officers pulled out a form and asked me to take a seat. He had me fill out the form with my name, number, address, and details about where the wallet was found. All of this was simple enough, but part way through, one of the less-than-happy-to-see-me officers came up and picked up the paper. He took a good long look at my name and asked me to present my foreign registration card. As I went to hand it to him he quickly and aggressively snatched/swiped it out of my hand, bent it back and forth, checked the hologram, and then proceeded to call in a check on me.

Needless to say I was shocked. But since I knew nothing bad was going to turn up, I sat back and waited.
And while I waited he went into the back. He still had the lost-item-form that I had filled out, and was looking through a shelf of binders. Finally he pulled one out, and pulled it down. He then asked me if the address I had written down was my real address. I told him it was, and he replied with “Then…. if that’s the case, please point out your house to me on this map”. I did this with ease, and he proceeded to drop the binder on the table in front of me and flip through the pages. Finally he stopped at one that seemed somehow familiar.

“Is this your house?”. he asked.
“Yea”, I responded.
“Then which one of these rooms is yours? hmm?”, he said with a bit of a sarcastic tone.
“My room number is on the damn registration card. Figure it out for yourself.”, I replied with just as much attitude as he gave me (in retrospect, probably not one of my better ideas, and there’s a good chance I made things more difficult for myself by doing so)
“So you don’t know? You can’t point it out?”, he snapped back at me. Clearly frustrated with the attitude I had fed him.
“It’s this one, ok.”, I said pointing to my room.

He spent the next 5 or so minutes filling out some form from that binder, while looking at my alien registration card. After which he spent the next 10 minutes on the phone with the binder, the paper, and my card in front of him. Needless to say, I was getting pretty stressed out.

I had already been in this koban for about 20 minutes now, and I was pretty sure I was going to be late.

Finally, he came out from his desk in the back, and dropped a form that had a series of empty boxes and a pad of black ink in front of me.

“One by one, put your fingers in the ink, and then mark your fingerprint in the corresponding box”, he said as if I had just been arrested or something.
“Is this necessary? Do I really have to do this?!”, I responded as I got more and more irritated by the situation.
“Are you trying to hide something?”, he shot back in an antagonizing manner.
“Whatever, this is BS”, I mumbled as I started to mark my finger prints on the page.

At this point I was about as upset as I could be, and to make matters worse, he didn’t even bring me a tissue to wipe my hands with.
Finally, I asked him to get me a tissue, and he laughed with a “hmmphh” and walked away…
After 2 minutes of wondering if he was coming back, he came back and dropped a single tissue onto my lap.

“I need to confirm that you don’t have any dangerous items on you. Would you empty your pockets and allow me to pat you down?”, he asked in a tone that made it clear that I didn’t really have a choice.
“Yea yea, whatever. Just hurry up”, I said trying to stop my hand from clenching into a fist with frustration.

I emptied my pockets, and even let him empty out my wallet onto the table (which he later mad me clean up).

“You don’t have your passport on you?”, he asked as he patted me down.
“Do you? Who carries their passport with them 24/7!?”, I spit out without a thought.
“What type of visa are you on?”, he asked. Now looking me right in the eyes.
I told him my visa type and pointed out once again, that such information can be found on my alien registration card which he still held in his hand.
“But you don’t have your passport on you?”, again he wasn’t even looking at me.
“Are you kidding me?! Like seriously. Is this how you treat everyone who turns in lost property?!”, I practically yelled at him.
“So then where is your passport?”, he asked completely ignoring my explosion.
“Hmmm… I wonder where it could be. Maybe… Home. Where the hell else would I leave it!?”
“Ok. Well, you claim to live around here, so why don’t we go get it.” he said back to me.
“Why the hell do you need my passport anyway?”
“Because I need to see your visa stamp and verify that you are here legally”,  he said with a bit of a grin on his face.
“Listen, I need to go. I am already late for meeting someone”
“I need your passport. So let’s go” he said, gesturing towards the door as he exited the koban.

I figured that sitting here arguing with him wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I decided to get up and walk with him to my place. Another officer accompanied us, and as I walked down the street, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself what my neighbors would think if they saw me being escorted by 2 uniformed officers.

We finally arrived at my house, and they followed me right into the building. In fact if it wasn’t for a slightly similar incident several months before, they would have managed to step right into my room. But this time I knew that they didn’t have the legal right to enter my actual room and managed to hold them at bay with the fact that I knew that.
I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me, and yet our fine officer had the nerve to open it right back up.

“Close the f***ing door! I’m not cooling the whole building!”, I snapped at him from inside. Hoping that he wouldn’t notice that I didn’t even have the cooler on right now.

It’s not that I had anything to hide, but rather I just couldn’t bring myself to a point where I didn’t want to piss him off at least a little.

I quickly emerged from my room with my passport, and before I could even present it to him, he reached down and snatched it out of my hand.
We made our way back to the koban, and he kept my passport in his hand the entire time.
When we got back, he asked me to take a seat, and he went into the back, sat down, opened up my passport, and picked up the phone.

For the better part of an hour I sat. He spent 5 minutes on the phone, 40+ minutes talking to the other officers and looking through binders, and then another 2 minutes or so on the phone.
Finally he came out and literally tossed my passport and foreign registration card onto the table in front of me and then pulled up my lost-item-form.

“What was in the wallet when you found it?”, he asked as he stared right at me.
“I don’t really know. I only looked briefly to check if it was discarded or dropped”, I said calmly.
“So you didn’t take anything from it?”, he asked, absolutely flooring me with the directness of his question.
“You checked my pockets right?!? You even went through my wallet. Does it look like I took anything?! SERIOUSLY, What the hell is wrong with you?!”, I practically yelled.
“hmmph. haha. relax relax”, he said with a condescending laugh. He was obviously pleased that he had gotten the better of me.

After about another 10 minutes or so of confirming my story of where and how I found the wallet, he finally told me that I was free to go in a tone that would imply that the whole thing was no big deal.

 

Now… For the sake of getting The Japan Rants up and running, I will stop this post here for now and add my personal thoughts and reflections at a later date. But Don’t let that stop you from tossing in your thoughts now~

 


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