Make-up and Lies
“It is amazing what make up can hide. If you want to know what she really looks like, take her swimming. Japanese girls without make-up are a totally different ball game man.”
Words of wisdom from a Japanese friend many years ago as I showed him a picture of a beautiful Japanese girl I had just started dating.
She was 21 years old, with beautiful hair which was both full and long. Her eyes are what caught my attention the day I met her, and she was always elegantly dressed. She liked high-heels and had her nails done in a different way every time I met her. And in spite of all of this, she looked very natural. She didn’t seem to have make-up caked on, and kept to sensible clothing (aside from the 7-day a week heels).
And this natural look, lured me into a false sense of security.
And so, heed his advice I did not.
I’ve seen girls (white girls, that is) without make-up before and it was never really that bad. So I sat back and thought to myself, “honestly, how bad could it possibly be?”
Well, the first red flag came when I saw her without heels or nails… Something was different. Not bad different. But different. She hadn’t gained any weight in the 15 hours since we last met, and yet suddenly, she somehow seemed chubby. But it suited her. She was cute that way and I liked it. I thought no more of it.
I let the red flag go down, and my defenses along with it.
We had been dating for a couple months when my friends advice finally made sense.
We took a bit of a trip together and I woke up one morning to find that she wasn’t beside me. I got up to grab breakfast, and saw the bathroom door half-open with the light on. Naturally I walked over and began to say good morning…
and that’s when I saw it…
For those of you who are thinking that I walked in on her on the toilet, you are both kinda gross and kinda dumb. Did you even read the article up until now? Try and put 2 and 2 together would ya…
For the rest of you… What I saw was much more surprising than what I ever could have expected.
She was drying her face with a towel, and as she brought the towel down I saw a completely different girl standing in front of me. Almost boyish. Tiny eyes, porous and blotchy skin colored a sickly yellow and almost no eyelashes or eyebrows.
For a moment the image of Darth Vader prepping to put on his helmet popped into my mind. My face went blank.
The second she noticed that I was there she freaked. Without even taking a second to look at me she covered her face back up with the towel and slammed the bathroom door, locking it quickly after.
But honestly… I didn’t mind. It was still her… right?
The first half of the day went by without us even speaking to each other. Not a word.
And by evening, it started to become very clear where things were heading.
That night at dinner, she finally spoke. She was furious. She said that me looking at her face without make-up was an invasion of her privacy, and utilized that single point to launch the discussion into an argument that would inevitably end in the demise of our relationship.
I took the break-up pretty harsh. And couldn’t help but notice that the girl that I spoke to that night was very different from the sweet girl I had been dating. We had been through arguments before. What couple hasn’t? But nothing that had ever come up had lead her to act the way she had acted that night. And then it started to become more and more clear… The make-up wasn’t just hiding her face… It was hiding her personality.
And so time went by and I moved on. And years later I found myself in a situation that brought back memories and began to set off red flags. The girl that I was dating this time, had no problem showing her face without make-up, and all-in-all she didn’t look all that different with or without it (with the exception of eye-size… which for many Japanese girls is the primary reason for their make-up). But this particular girl had 2 very distinct personalities…
While wearing make-up she was calm, and gentle. Some might even call her sweet.
But when the make-up came off, so did the gloves…
As I have written and re-written this section several times but can not find the words to explain how this girl acted without make-up on, I will simply summarize by saying that she was no longer, in any way, lady-like or pleasant.
And, we will leave it at that.
And while at first, this was all a major shock, I have slowly grown to be intrigued by the things that Japanese girls can do with their make-up. It is… for the lack of a better description… Kinda like art!
When white girls pile on the make-up and fake eyelashes, and all the extras, they tend to just look like a chick who is wearing way to much make-up. But when a Japanese girl does it, it seems to work. And whether this be that it simply requires some Japanese girls to wear that much make-up in order to look cute, or whether their methods of application are actuallythatskillful, the end result is the same.
What really blew my mind about it, is the fact that Japanese guys all seem to know that girls who wear a lot of make-up are hiding something, and yet so many of them love these chicks…
“I know when all that make-up comes off, she will probably look like my father, but it doesn’t mean that I ever need to see her like that“, is the line that I got from a guy in Shibuya who was standing in front of the station trying to nanpa (pick-up) heavily make-up’d girls.
In fact there are even TV programs that show was Japanese girls look like with and without make-up!
And what’s more… There are even iPhone apps loaded with pictures of beautiful girls who’s make-up you can remove with the swipe of your finger!
And with all of this… My mind is spinning and I have kinda lost sight of where I was going with this post… (I’m pretty sure I wanted to write something about Japanese gyaaru in here but just never got around to it).
And so I will stop here for now, and perhaps update again later…
This has to be one of those weird life experiences. Not much could even prepare you for that moment when she is herself. It really sucks that a woman would have to be like that. Don’t they realize they are going to have to take off the decorations at some point and show what the place really looks like? I don’t think I wouldn’t deal with a lady like that, but you can’t really say never.
Ok, this is my opinion as a Western woman living in Japan:
I guess guys just can’t tell until they see the obvious evidence.
I really never understood why Western guys find Japanese girls so beautiful / cute.
Yes, some of them are natural beauties. Some of them are really cute.
However, the majority is not.
They have weird colored hair, long chick nails, wear high heels even when climbing Mt. Fuji, wear far too much make-up (yes, I can tell easily) …. they look like weird dolls. Not something I like very much. If I were a guy I wouldn’t want to date such a doll.
Japanese women care FAR too much about their appearance!
They spend too much time and money on make-up, clothes and brand bags.
Well, some also try t improve their “houswife” skills and practice cooking and whatnot.
This often leads to very boring personalities, because they have no other hobbies than that ….
Am I too harsh?
I know Japanese women who are not like that, but I fear the majority is of the type you described in your blog post.
Good grief, zoomingjapan!!! I *know* this is a horrible thing to say but I am so glad someone else in this country sees things well…if not exactly the same, very similar to how I see them.
Mind you, I think the majority of girls I see here in Japan are cute. They have their own natural charm, just like girls from other places have theirs. However, the point you make about make-up, clothes and shoes, money spent and boringness of personalities…sadly I couldn’t agree more. The worst part is, it seems like an inescapable trap for young girls growing up?
I’ve watched my daughters friends slowly give in to pressure around them and become like that (the ones who aren’t styled little dolls from elementary school on) because everyone else is doing it?! And I really don’t know which is more sad, the ones who grow up not knowing anything else or the ones who discard their personality and become like everyone else.
The worst part to me however is, that while I enjoy being different most of the time and do get plenty of attention, every once in a while someone will be quite nasty because I don’t try to be like that (most of the time this reaction comes from women themselves, which makes making friends a bit difficult) and I actually get half tempted to give it a try, just to fit in. *sigh*
Oh. And while I think you’re right about most guys not seeing the reality behind the mask, I think for most of them this mask is part of the fantasy that makes Japanese women so interesting to them. Of course that means they’ll accept the mask as a part of the deal, which in turn makes women think it’s an acceptable if not necessary deception, which of course continues the cycle.
While I don’t think a girl should hide herself (physically or personality-wise) behind a bunch of makeup, doesn’t it seem like a lot of people are blaming the girls here? They might change when they take off their makeup, but what is it–WHO is it?–who made them think they had to wear that much makeup to be accepted in the first place? I think the reason why Japanese girls become so different once the makeup is gone is because it’s a facade they have to wear to fit in and be accepted. It’s like no one wants the “real” them. And probably for those girls (already being women in Japan), to not fit in or be wanted for who you are is the worst feeling in the world.
I’m a white girl, but I know when I used to not wear makeup, I was bullied by boys and girls alike. I’m older now and use a bit of makeup these days, and everyone treats me like I’m some sort of beauty queen. There’s a big difference in how you’re treated when you wear your natural face or when you wear the one everyone expects you to be. =(
Anyway, great, interesting post as usual!
love this post!
I can sympathize with the problem of women who are two-faced!
Many women, I believe, use make-up to cover up some perceived facial imperfections. I have met many whose personalities are still pretty decent with or without make-up.
Nevertheless, I would say that there are some precious ones among us who are sent somewhere from the pit, and who hide their horrible-ness behind make-up thicker than the plaster that we use to patch our leaky ceiling.
truthfully speaking, I would love to go without make-up but it’s easier to just disappear into the swarms of fully-made up women rather than stick up like the proverbial nail waiting to get hammered down.
just an Asian female perspective …
“Ok, this is my opinion as a Western woman living in Japan:
I guess guys just can’t tell until they see the obvious evidence.
I really never understood why Western guys find Japanese girls so beautiful / cute.
Yes, some of them are natural beauties. Some of them are really cute.
However, the majority is not.”
How is this anything other than a bigoted statement?
I should also point out the incredibly false and overtly racist claim by the author of this article that “yellow” is accurate in any way to describe the skin tone of a Japanese person.
Good grief.
As much as I appreciate the comments, there is nothing “Racist” about that.
It had nothing to do with the fact that she was Asian, but rather that her skin tone was ACTUALLY yellow. Not white, not pink, not even skin tone. Yellow.
Perhaps not everything is about racism. Ever think the poor girl might have simply had a bad diet, or a skin condition?
Good grief indeed
My husband is Japanese and you said you don’t understand why Japanese guys love these girls despite they know all that about caking on makeup but my husband does not like Japanese women actually or not really into Asian women at all because of the stuff like you mention about what a natural Japanese women or natural Asian women looks like. He said he does not understand why white guys flock and worship Asian women so much.