Aug
31

Make-up and Lies

“It is amazing what make up can hide. If you want to know what she really looks like, take her swimming. Japanese girls without make-up are a totally different ball game man.”

Words of wisdom from a Japanese friend many years ago as I showed him a picture of a beautiful Japanese girl I had just started dating.
She was 21 years old, with beautiful hair which was both full and long. Her eyes are what caught my attention the day I met her, and she was always elegantly dressed. She liked high-heels and had her nails done in a different way every time I met her. And in spite of all of this, she looked very natural. She didn’t seem to have make-up caked on, and kept to sensible clothing (aside from the 7-day a week heels).
And this natural look, lured me into a false sense of security.

And so, heed his advice I did not.
I’ve seen girls (white girls, that is) without make-up before and it was never really that bad. So I sat back and thought to myself, “honestly, how bad could it possibly be?”

Well, the first red flag came when I saw her without heels or nails… Something was different. Not bad different. But different. She hadn’t gained any weight in the 15 hours since we last met, and yet suddenly, she somehow seemed chubby. But it suited her. She was cute that way and I liked it. I thought no more of it.

I let the red flag go down, and my defenses along with it.

We had been dating for a couple months when my friends advice finally made sense.
We took a bit of a trip together and I woke up one morning to find that she wasn’t beside me. I got up to grab breakfast, and saw the bathroom door half-open with the light on. Naturally I walked over and began to say good morning…
and that’s when I saw it…

For those of you who are thinking that I walked in on her on the toilet, you are both kinda gross and kinda dumb. Did you even read the article up until now? Try and put 2 and 2 together would ya…
For the rest of you… What I saw was much more surprising than what I ever could have expected.
She was drying her face with a towel, and as she brought the towel down I saw a completely different girl standing in front of me. Almost boyish. Tiny eyes, porous and blotchy skin colored a sickly yellow and almost no eyelashes or eyebrows.
For a moment the image of Darth Vader prepping to put on his helmet popped into my mind. My face went blank.

The second she noticed that I was there she freaked. Without even taking a second to look at me she covered her face back up with the towel and slammed the bathroom door, locking it quickly after.

But honestly… I didn’t mind. It was still her… right?

The first half of the day went by without us even speaking to each other. Not a word.
And by evening, it started to become very clear where things were heading.
That night at dinner, she finally spoke. She was furious. She said that me looking at her face without make-up was an invasion of her privacy, and utilized that single point to launch the discussion into an argument that would inevitably end in the demise of our relationship.

I took the break-up pretty harsh. And couldn’t help but notice that the girl that I spoke to that night was very different from the sweet girl I had been dating. We had been through arguments before. What couple hasn’t? But nothing that had ever come up had lead her to act the way she had acted that night. And then it started to become more and more clear… The make-up wasn’t just hiding her face… It was hiding her personality.

And so time went by and I moved on. And years later I found myself in a situation that brought back memories and began to set off red flags. The girl that I was dating this time, had no problem showing her face without make-up, and all-in-all she didn’t look all that different with or without it (with the exception of eye-size… which for many Japanese girls is the primary reason for their make-up). But this particular girl had 2 very distinct personalities…
While wearing make-up she was calm, and gentle. Some might even call her sweet.
But when the make-up came off, so did the gloves…

As I have written and re-written this section several times but can not find the words to explain how this girl acted without make-up on, I will simply summarize by saying that she was no longer, in any way, lady-like or pleasant.
And, we will leave it at that.

And while at first, this was all a major shock, I have slowly grown to be intrigued by the things that Japanese girls can do with their make-up. It is… for the lack of a better description… Kinda like art!

When white girls pile on the make-up and fake eyelashes, and all the extras, they tend to just look like a chick who is wearing way to much make-up. But when a Japanese girl does it, it seems to work. And whether this be that it simply requires some Japanese girls to wear that much make-up in order to look cute, or whether their methods of application are actuallythatskillful, the end result is the same.

What really blew my mind about it, is the fact that Japanese guys all seem to know that girls who wear a lot of make-up are hiding something, and yet so many of them love these chicks…

“I know when all that make-up comes off, she will probably look like my father, but it doesn’t mean that I ever need to see her like that“, is the line that I got from a guy in Shibuya who was standing in front of the station trying to nanpa (pick-up) heavily make-up’d girls.

In fact there are even TV programs that show was Japanese girls look like with and without make-up!
And what’s more… There are even iPhone apps loaded with pictures of beautiful girls who’s make-up you can remove with the swipe of your finger!

And with all of this… My mind is spinning and I have kinda lost sight of where I was going with this post… (I’m pretty sure I wanted to write something about Japanese gyaaru in here but just never got around to it).
And so I will stop here for now, and perhaps update again later…

Aug
12

I Think Some Japanese People Want To Speak English

Why to Japanese people answer me in English when I speak to them in Japanese?

A question that many foreign Japanese-speakers find themselves asking at one point or another.

I had been speaking Japanese outside of Japan for about a year when I first set foot in Tokyo. I landed in the country excited to exercise my language skills and headed right to the nearest JR ticket counter to ask for a map and to buy some tickets.

Prepared with my Japanese language skills and a level on confidence which was probably undeserved at the time, I walked up to the counter and made my request in full Japanese. The staff smiled, opened a drawer, and replied to me in what I can only describe as a near-embarrassing attempt at English which came out jumbled and incomprehensible…

I stood, confused.

Why… why when I spoke to her in Japanese, did she answer me in English? And in broken English at that…

I couldn’t understand what she said but didn’t want to make her feel as low as she had just made me feel, and so I put on a smile in return and nodded my head pretending to understand what she had just said to me.

This is a situation that is all-too-familiar for foreigners in Japan.
You say something to a Japanese person in Japanese, and they respond in English.
It’s frustrating.

When I first got to Japan, this bothered me like crazy… It would happen at restaurants, on airplanes, while shopping, and even with friends. And especially in the beginning it felt like a punch in the stomach every single time.
I would always doubt my Japanese skill when it happened. I would wonder if my Japanese was so bad that they felt the need to push the interaction into English just to achieve an acceptable level of communication with me…

But over the years, as my Japanese language skills developed and grew in fluency, elegance, and overall pzazz, I came to realize that it was time to adjust my confidence level. It seemed that my nihongo skill level had little, if nothing, to do with it. The more I improved, the more my confidence grew. And the more my confidence in m Japanese skill grew, the more I began to understand that Some Japanese people just want to speak English.  And the more I understood this point, the less I cared when it happened. In fact, it has worked itself comfortably and naturally into my life to the point where I barely notice anymore.
But that doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed by everyone. Japanese people responding to your nihongo in English can be everything from discouraging to shocking, or for some, even embarrassing or disappointing.

On numerous occasions, I have had to laugh as I hear people say things like “I have had more chances to speak Japanese in my own country then when I visited Japan. Everyone here seems to want to practice their English”
Why do I laugh? Because it’s true.

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to meet more Japanese people in social and business situations than I can even count. And I have found that there are 4 main types of English-speaking Japanese people that you will commonly encounter:

 

Type A – Can’t Speak English, But Want To

This type is pretty much harmless. They are generally friendly and may simply be fascinated with foreigners or English but had little chance in their life to use or try it. At the very worst, they are the type who view gaijin as a brand, and may even go through great efforts to befriend you.
Some people will take their attempts at English as “microaggressions” (aka a mild, unintentional form of racism), but in the end, I think it holds more of a child-like curiosity tone to it. (I once went a little far with this analogy comparing it to a young child seeing a new animal for the first time, and mimicking the animals sound in the hopes of achieving communication. They might just wanna be friends! – this analogy was not well taken by some. lol)

 

Type B – Can Speak English, But Have No Confidence

This type, much like Type A, are relatively harmless. Chances are, unless you actually ask them, or unless someone else says something, you may not even know that they speak English. They come in all shapes and personality types, and usually had a rather specific reason for studying English in the first place (whether it was for a certain goal, or simply a strong personal interest). While still very much aware of the fact that you are a foreigner (and potentially more aware than Type A of what that really means), Type B will usually be happy as long as they can communicate with you.

 

Type C – Can Speak English, But Don’t Really Care

I like this type. They can speak English, but will typically carry the communication with you in whatever language you set as the precedent. More often than not, the language will jump back and forth seamlessly in conversation with them, and there is more often than not, a general feeling of equality. Type C is the truly internationally-minded type and unfortunately they are also the rarest type.

 

Type D – Can Speak English And Want To Show It

This is the type to watch out for. They are the ones who will blatantly ignore your Japanese and respond with English, and they are commonly a little different from the average Japanese person. These people see English as “cool” and therefore want to be seen/heard speaking it as often as possible. Unfortunately, this usually comes from a deep seeded issue with their self-esteem, and therefore it doesn’t stop with English. It is far from uncommon for these people to be disliked by fellow Japanese and foreigners alike for being condescending or generally annoying.

Note: I have purposefully left out 2 types from this list
Type P, which are people like the JR staff above, who may just be doing it for the sake of “professionalism” and making things easier.
and Type O, which are the elderly people who will approach you in any range of situations just to practice their English.
I have left these types out, because 9 times out of 10, the person in types P or O will also overlap into one of the above 4 types.

So when it comes down to it, there is only one type that you really need to be concerned about; Type D. But even though three out of four sounds like pretty good odds, it’s still a little tough to put a population percentage statistic to each type, so it’s still up to you to identify and adjust your social filter.

I was going to add an entire section talking about what do do when a Japanese person responds to your Japanese in English, but instead, I’d really like to hear your thoughts. What do you do in that situation?

 

Closing Thought…
The scary part is that if you really think about it… You could apply almost every point in this to foreigners who speak Japanese….

 

 

Jul
20

Bullying (Ijime) in Japan

“We’re glad he killed himself. We wanted him dead”
These were the words of the classmates who bullied a 13-year old boy to the point of suicide.

Disgust.

That is all I am left with as I turn off the TV and try to stop myself from booking a one-way ticket out of Japan.

And while I will start by saying that it is true that bullying is not specific to Japan, I would like to open by reminding you that this is The Japan Rants and therein I will be focusing on this country and how incredibly FUBAR the bullying/ijime situation is here.

This piece is not going to be pretty. So if you think there is even the slightest chance that you might not want to get in to this topic, I suggest you stop right here.

This post is meant to be more of a forum for comments and thoughts.
Honestly speaking I can’t wrap my head around this topic in the way that I would like to, and I want to hear your thoughts. Under the condition that we stick to the topic of Japan. Bullying in Japan.

I am not going to get deep into explaining the current bullying situation in Japan, as there is already a wealth of information available on this topic. One can easily find countless articles, and just to help those of you who are not entirely aware of the details or depth of this issue, I have posted links to a few here:

Facts And Details – Bullying in Japanese Schools [recommended read - detailed]

Education in Japan – Bullying Behavior in Japanese Schools

SeeTell – Japan’s War on Children: Bullying and Abuse

BBC News – Japans Deadly Bullying Problem

All Look Same? – Why Bullying is so Common in Japan

Reuters – Cyber-bullying in Japan

Video: 7-year-old boy being bullied

Now I’m going to assume that you didn’t actually go through and read all of them (although I chose these 5 for a reason and really do recommend reading them all), but providing that you took the time to read even one, you will have somewhat of a clear understanding as to the degree of the Japanese bullying issue.

I have read through all of them. More than once. and honestly I don’t even know where to start.

Bullying (ijime ) in Japan is so incredibly different than it is in the West and comes in a terrifying variety of shapes and forms. Sometimes it is physical, sometimes mental. But it always crosses the line. And in a country where people try to avoid conflict at all costs, it is rarely dealt with.

Japanese friends have shared stories of bullying that rang from mental warfare, to theft and destruction of personal property, all the way up to Japanese children (and when I say children, I am talking about 15-years-old or younger) sexually abusing classmates or even their classmates mothers.
And while mental warfare may not sound all that terrifying, just try to imagine your classmates forcing you to practice suicide techniques on a daily basis, and having the teachers and adults around you do nothing about it.

Some stories are heartbreaking, and others are nothing short of disgusting and frightening.

In the hopes of keeping this post short and to-the-point, I want to list some of the points that I find terrifying about Japan and ijime:

Suicide
The primary cause of suicide for individuals under 18 (a.k.a. children) in Japan is bullying.
Children as young as 10-years-old or younger have been and are continuing to be pushed to take their own lives.

Schools Deny It
I find it amazing that in a country where teachers will roam the streets at night to make sure kids from their schools are not out too late, that the teachers are the first to say there is no problem. Teachers, principals, and schools claim suicide-after-suicide that bullying was not the cause (no matter how much bullying actually occurred)

Teachers Are Targets Too
You will be hard-pressed to find a teacher in Japan who hasn’t been the victim of some form of bullying attempt. Many bullies in Japan will see the teacher as an obstacle to first be destroyed or stripped of any power/credibility before they take action on their targeted classmate. Some Japanese teachers have been known break down, explode, quit, or even commit suicide under this pressure.

Lack of Action by Parents
While I am sure that there are just as many parents who are making incredible efforts to support and help their bullied children, I can’t help but look at the numbers and wonder what the rest are (or aren’t) doing.
And what is worse, is the parents of the bullies. Why did these people have children if they are not going to take a more active role in their child’s healthy development. Instead, so many parents put the responsibility of their child’s development on the teachers. And we have already covered how great of an idea that is…

More Often Than Not, The Smart Kids Are The Bullies
In many parts of the West, the smart kids are the nerds. They are bullied as they don’t have the confidence or physical strength to protect themselves. But Japan is filled with intelligent children who somehow grow to think that due to their intellectual abilities or parents pay-grades, that their lives are somehow of more value than the lives of their bullied classmates. I cannot even begin to imagine what brings an elementary school child to try and convince a classmate to take their own life…

It’s Not Getting Better, It’s Getting Worse
Almost every year for the last decade, the number of reported bullying cases has increased. The most heartbreaking part of this is that we have barely scratched the surface. The majority of bullying cases in Japan tend to go unreported. And with the problem becoming deeper, and Japanese children becoming less and less forward, an increase in these numbers would seem to imply an overall increase in bullying cases in Japan.

The Problems That Follow
Being bullied can lead to countless problems. While some children may grow to become detached and live a life without connection or trust of anyone around them, others may lash out. in 1996 there was a boy who went as far as to cut off the head of one of this classmates, leaving the head on the school gate with a note in the mouth. The note read “this is the beginning of a game“.

There is so much to say and so much that has been said.
I wrote this piece because I needed to get it out. And now, I want to hear what you think. So please don’t hesitate share your thoughts, opinions, stories, etc.

Jun
11

Am I Invisible?

Am I invisible? – A seemingly reasonable question for people living in big cities like Tokyo.

As any foreigner in Japan will tell you within moments of setting foot in the country, you are far from being invisible in Japan. Even in a major metropolis like Tokyo which is full of international restaurants and claims to be aiming to be a larger part of the global market, foreigner (or gaijin as they are referred to by so many of the Japanese around) are still stared at on a daily basis.

We are stared at, even monit0red in so many everyday situations. Japanese people watch us as we walk down the street, or stare at us as we sit on a train. Our neighbors will monitor our every move to make sure that we are separating our garbage correctly and that we are putting it our on the right day in the correct spot. Even friends and family of friends watch us in awe and amazement as we masterfully display our capabilities in using the ancient device known as Chopsticks. And even Police will ask us to stop so they can check our bicycle registration or bags, just because.

Nearly every minute of every day (that we are around people at least), we are being watched, monitored, and even judged by the Japanese people around us.

So why is it that Japanese people seem to think that they are completely invisible?!?!
Not sure what I’m talking about?…

Even if you have been in Japan (especially a big city like Tokyo or Osaka) for a short time, I challenge you to think back to how many times you have seen the following things happen right out in public:

Nose Picking
(and I’m not talking about a quick clean and wipe but rather a full-on gold hunt)
For more on this, check out Japanese Gold Diggers.

Public sleeping
(everything from sleepy people on the train to drunk salary-men on the streets)
Check out – Sleepy Japanese People, Don’t Sleep on Me (>_<)

Blatant crotch scratching
Or even someone simply touching their crotch repeatedly for no reason

And if I had to dig into the deep and dirty, I could even go as far as sexual harassment on trains.
Most of these people really aren’t that subtle or secretive about it. Sometimes it’s so open and obvious, that its hard to believe that its happening right in front of your eyes. (For a more in-depth example of what I’m talking about check out my post about the 14-year-old pervert)

Most, if not all of these behaviors (and more that I haven’t listed) are visible all around us and are so blatant that with enough time in Japan, it’s easy to forget that these things are not normal. If you were to ask a Japanese person what they think about seeing someone pick their nose or scratch their magic area in public, you may be surprised to see them shrug it off with a laugh and a “well, that’s Japan“.

Now, while its fair to assume that in a very crowded area, people tend to feel more of a sense of anonymity and get the feeling that nobody is looking at them, this only really accounts for a few of these actions….
But what about the 19-year-old Yankii standing and talking to 5 of his friends while he gives his **** a good scratch-a-roo?!?!

Years ago while hanging out with a group of street-racers here in Tokyo, there was a guy who it didn’t matter where he was, who he was talking to, or what he was doing, he just seemed to feel the need to give himself a good old rub. At first I kind of assumed he was itchy (that would have been the logical conclusion anyway) but over time it became more and more apparent that he just really liked touching himself…
What really threw me for a loop is that nobody seemed to care or even notice (O.o)
And while this is a somewhat extreme and even rare example, I find myself wishing that I could say he was the only person I ever saw do this…

I will tag in here, that Japan is not entirely unique in this sense. I would be hard pressed to try and claim that you wouldn’t see similar things in any other city in the world. In fact, if you were to go to NYC, I am sure you would see a range of actions that would blow you mind, but this is not the U.S.A Rants, it’s The Japan Rants!

And so I put the question that every Japanese person in Tokyo should be asking, flat on the table:

Am I invisible?

 

 

Jun
02

Blowfish and the Samurai

I am a big fan of Japanese fugu (ふぐ – blowfish).

And while this wonderful fish goes by many names including fugu, blowfish, pufferfish, or even inflate-a-fish, chances are you will never hear anyone call it a safe snack~

Fugu, or blowfish as many call it in English, has always had my attention. Speaking more accurately, the fugu chefs have always had my attention!

Fugu has been enjoyed in Japan for over 20oo years, but contains a poison so dangerous that consumption of the fish was banned from the beginning of the 1600′s to the middle of the 1800′s. Even after the original ban was lifted, many areas of Japan still banned eating blowfish until the early 1900′s.
In 1958, a law was put into place which permitted only specially licensed chefs to prepare the potentially deadly swimmer for consumption and to this day, fugu is the only food that the emperor of Japan is not permitted to eat.

And getting a license to prepare fugu is not an easy task. The would-be fugu chefs must go through a very heavy 2-3 year apprenticeship and training, during the first part of which, they are not even permitted to touch the fish. Their lives revolve around anything and everything fugu. They are submitted to countless hours of study, followed by an inflexible and in-depth testing system which includes everything from a series of written tests to a practical fugu-preparation test where finally, they have to prepare and even eat the fugu. This test is so hard, that the pass-rate sits at a mere 35%.

Sound like a lot of work just to be able to cut and serve a fish? It is. And with good reason.

Let’s take a moment to imagine would it would be like if you were to ingest some of the blowfish’s poison…

Well, chances are that it would all start within 10 to 15 seconds. It would come on in a gradual build with something as simple as your tongue and mouth going numb. But this could quickly spread to your arms, legs, or worse. As the poison starts to spread, breathing becomes increasingly difficult as the toxin shuts down the muscles in your body. As you sit there grasping for any air that you can get, you realize that you are completely aware of everything that is happening to you. The poison hasn’t clouded your mind or made you delirious… and it won’t. This particular poison will leave your mind in a clear state from start to finish.
Your head is pounding, you can’t breathe, and you are additionally being tortured by the feeling that you want to throw up, but as most of the muscles in your body have been shut down at this point, you cannot.
You are rushed to the hospital. But there is no antidote for the fugu’s poison known as tetrodotoxin.
At this point, barely alive and just as barely conscious (if at all), your stomach is pumped and then quickly filled with activated charcoal in hopes of binding the poison. Finally you are put on life support, and your loved ones sit by and hope for the best…

Needless to say, this is not a pleasant experience for anyone involved.

While some people will tell you that fugu-related issues are very uncommon and that it is not something that you should be overly worried about, stories of people getting sick or even dying from eating fugu are far from uncommon here in Japan (although, thankfully have been on the decline).
In fact, I remember a story on the news back in 2007 or 2008 about a sushi chef who thought he might prepare some blowfish for his friends out of his home (without a license). This story did not end well…

And if you were to search the internet or news sites, stories about people being rushed to the hospital or dying after eating poison blowfish are surprisingly easy to find.

Here is an example:
11 people rushed to the hospital with blowfish poisoning

Simply put, blowfish can be a dangerous meal, especially if not prepared properly. And it is for exactly this reason that I have so much respect for these hard working chefs who have invested so much of their lives to the perfection of preparing this fish.

Knowing all this, would you trust an unlicensed chef to serve you blowfish?
The Japanese government would!

It would seem that the Japanese government does not share my overwhelming respect and admiration for these well-trained, and devoted fugu chefs. Rather, the government looks at prefectures and cities outside of Tokyo which have much more relaxed laws regarding blowfish, seeing less incidents, and cheaper prices, and decides, “Let’s try that in Tokyo!”. (Because I’m sure this has nothing to do with areas and cities outside of Tokyo having considerably lower populations, and less of a ‘fine dining’ culture…)

So, the Japanese government has decided that from October of 2012, a license will no longer be required in Tokyo to cut and serve the poisonous fugu. And for what? Hopes of blowfish becoming a cheap and popular izakaya-style snack that anyone can enjoy…

Now, let’s assume for a second that the Japanese government knows what they are doing here…
(because if history and recent events have taught us anything, it’s that the Japanese government is sure to make the right decisions for the good of the people! Right?…)
Even in the best-case scenario, imagining the government succeeds in lowering the prices, decreasing the number of incidents in Tokyo, and making blowfish a more easily enjoyable food for everyone, this is still a big ol’  middle finger to the many chefs who devoted their lives to the art of poetically navigating the gauntlet of the poisonous organs that make up the blowfish in order to present their trusting customers with a delicacy that they can eat in comfort.

And while I am confident that a great deal of fugu enthusiasts will remain faithful to their well-trained and highly respected chefs, how many new chefs are likely to go through the expensive, time (and life) consuming training and testing process to get a license that they don’t need? Would you go through the process of getting a car license if you didn’t need to?

And so Japan is killing yet another one of it’s beautiful arts by taking a food that was once seen as a special delicacy prepared only by highly-trained masters, and turning it into a cheap evening beer snack at the local snack bar or izakaya.

And people wonder why Japanese culture no longer has the appeal and pull on the world that it once did?

Just like the samurai, it would seem that these licensed fugu chefs who gave so much of themselves, are destined to become little more than legends. Stories of men that once were.

 

Through changing this one simple law, Japan loses yet another point of fascination for Japanese and non-Japanese alike.

Good job Japan.

–

For more about this change, please check out Reuters or FT

For an interesting 2 part story on fugu, please check outDeep End Dining

 

May
12

Working With Japanese People

I work for a Japanese company. And this means working with Japanese people. Not an easy task.

I still remember the day that I got the news that I would become a full-time worker in a Japanese company. I remember where I was sitting, who I was with, and even what I was drinking. It was a significant moment and one that marked a major change in my life here in Japan. I was excited. Very excited.
But this was a double edged sword…

While working for a Japanese company and working with Japanese people can be a great experience in more ways than I can count, it can also be one of the most crushing and stressful experiences that a non-Japanese person can experience.

Note:
I sat on this post for a while, really on the fence as to whether or not I wanted to post it.
Most of my experiences working with Japanese people have been good, if not great.
And I have a great deal of respect for every single person that I work with.
But that is not to say that it has been without its hard times.
And after hearing some horror stories from other people,
I realized it was time to put this post together…

I had always heard stories from friends of mine who worked in Japan as ALTs, programmers, consultants, etc.., that working along side Japanese people can be terribly stressful and more often than not feels like walking a tight rope above a fire pit while juggling chainsaws. There’s just so much that can go wrong…

But I never thought it would affect me. I have been living side-by-side with Japanese people for over 10 years and have been speaking the language just as long. I picked up on Japanese language and culture when I was young and was surrounded with people who I could speak and grow with. I studied Japanese business culture and Japanese business etiquette in anticipation of working in Japan, and got into a Japanese company at an early, but reasonable age.

And in my first couple of years working with Japanese people I came to understand exactly what everyone meant.
It was a totally different world than what I was prepared for.

Now, there are a large number of factors that contribute to the complexity and the difficulties one may have when working with Japanese people. And to save time, space, and your eyes, I have decided to put a few of these points in a list (which will probably be updated as time goes on), for easy reading and convenience:

The List

  • No matter how good your Japanese is or how long you have been in Japan. Unless you are a native-Japanese speaker raised in Japanese culture, you will be seen as a foreigner / outsider
  • Japanese people tend to form cliques or small groups (remember high school? Japanese people do!). Even Japanese people who are not a part of the clique or group are viewed as outsiders.
  • Most (if not all) Japanese people have 2 faces – one for work, social interactions, etc and one for family and very close friends (they will almost never show you the later)
    • Note: This is not a dishonesty thing as much as it is a working in harmony thing
  • Most foreigners do not understand the concept of ‘wa‘ (harmony) as it applies in Japanese social and work culture
  • Japanese co-workers or colleagues may not fully understand your job, and definitely assume that you understand nothing of theirs
  • Japanese people are not relaxed at work. If you are, you will stand out in a negative way
  • Your Japanese co-workers or colleagues may not completely understand what you are trying to say
  • You may not completely understand what your Japanese co-workers or colleagues are trying to say
  • Attempting to rectify either of the preceding 2 points can easily lead to getting stuck between a rock and a hard place in the sense that:
    • a) If you try to simplify your communication to make things more clear, you may end up being too direct
    • b) Trying to be indirect in English can lead to confusing Japanese staff even more
    • c) Trying to be indirect in Japanese if it is not your native language, can easily lead to dangerous mis-communications
  • Japanese tend not to forgive. Therefore, if any of the following happen,
    you are potentially in hot water for a while:
    • You’re caught being lazy, taking personal calls, etc (basically if you’re caught doing anything… you’re in the dog house)
    • You show up late even once
    • You allow yourself to get and or show frustration, stress, or anger
    • You argue with or make any negative comment to someone
    • You fail at an attempt to indirectly say something negative
    • You fail to follow the silent chain of command
    • You fail to communicate information in the proper format
    • You don’t have an answer ready when you are asked a question
    • You say that a request that has been made of you is impossible
    • You say “no” or “sorry, I can’t” to almost anything
    • You give your honest opinion rather than the acceptable shared opinion
    • You show up for work or leave work On Time
    • You converse with your Japanese co-workers either too much or too little

This list could probably get a lot longer, but for everyone’s sake, I will limit it to its current contents.

And trust me when I say that if you’re doing good, they will test you. It is far from uncommon for a Japanese person to suddenly say something direct and aggressive (this is usually done in a compact, brief comment that passes as soon as it came), simply for the point of getting a reaction.
Sounds childish? It is.
And for many people this tends to set them over the edge. They allow themselves to get flustered, or react, or even go and complain to the wrong person in the chain of command. And then you’re up the creek without a paddle…

So, it’s at this point that you’re probably wondering either what you can do to make working with Japanese people easier, or if it’s even worth it at all…

Some people will tell you that it will help you to learn the language. Others will tell you that having a strong understanding of Japanese business etiquette or Japanese business culture will be the key. And some people will try to sell you the idea that if you work long, hard hours, that even as a foreigner, you will surely be accepted in the Japanese workplace.

I am here to tell you that while each of those may hold some merit, it is my experience that none of them are worth a grain of sand in comparison to just not caring.
Sure, at first glance this may seem counterproductive to the cause, but in the end, just going in to work, doing your job to the best of your ability, being polite and considerate, putting in overtime every now and then, and simply not giving a s*** what your Japanese co-workers think of you is the only sure-fire way to get through the day with your sanity intact.

Maybe this is already you! And perhaps you haven’t had a single negative experience working with Japanese people. And if that’s the case, good for you!
But if not, then this is something to keep in mind.
It took me a while to learn this, and since I have, every day at the office has been a lot better.
Yes, they will still test you every now and then, but just put on a smile, comply and at the end of the day, detach!

There is a lot more that I was planning to add to this post…
I was originally going to make it more about racism in the Japanese workplace but it would seem that we will cover that in a separate post.

For now, I hope this helps.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts, anecdotes, stories, and opinions in the comments section~

May
04

Dear Tokyo, Where are all the garbage cans?!

Allow me to introduce you to Tokyo

Tokyo is a city covering roughly 2,188 km² (844 sq miles) – metro.tokyo.jp
Tokyo has a population of around 13,189,000 people – metro.tokyo.jp
And Tokyo has roughly 6000 Convenience Stores (or Konbini) – Stats-Japan.com
And depending on the day, it isn’t considered rare to find outdoor food vendors scattered throughout the city.
But how many garbage cans?

Take a minute to imagine… It’s a beautiful crisp spring morning as you walk down the street with your konbini bag in one hand and your niku-man (steamed bun with meat inside) in the other~ The air is cool but refreshing, the birds are singing, and you are enjoying every single bite of this juicy and delicious konbini treat! Until… it comes time to throw out the wrapper.

Yes…  this is yet another post about the lack of public garbage cans in Japan (or Tokyo to be more specific).
And I thought long and hard about throwing together this post because… well… its been done. To speak more accurately, it’s been over-done. After a brief search, I was quickly able to find the following and many more:

From Metropolis Magazine:
http://archive.metropolis.co.jp/tokyorantsravesarchive349/315/tokyorantsravesinc.htm
Suggests using peoples bicycle baskets as trash cans… o.O

Another Metropolis Post (found in JapanToday):
http://www.japantoday.com/category/commentary/view/talking-trash
More in-depth than the first post, and makes some very solid points

From Quora.com:
http://www.quora.com/Tokyo-Japan/Why-are-there-no-trash-cans-on-the-streets-in-Tokyo
Says it all started with an anti-terrorist campaign

From ThisJapaneseLife.org:
http://thisjapaneselife.org/2012/02/08/trash-cans-in-japan/
A lot less about the garbage cans, and a lot more about  the Aum cult and 1995 incident
(Worth taking the time to read)

From TokyoMango.com:
http://www.tokyomango.com/tokyo_mango/2010/01/please-take-your-trash-home-.html
A short post, but one that makes a good cultural point.

 

The point:
Finding a garbage can on the street in Tokyo, is not an easy task.
While there is never a konbini, McD, or restroom far away, you will be hard pressed to find yourself a trash can on the sidewalk, street corner, or train station.

There are a lot of great theories floating around (Anti-terrorism campaign, waste-disposal control, money-saving tactics of the Japanese government, litter reduction, cultural mindset, etc…) and many of them are clearly detailed in the articles above, but when I first noticed this phenomenon (which surprisingly took me quite a while), I asked a close Japanese friend of mine, and without even a second of hesitation he answered,
“Because we’re not supposed to be eating and walking anyways. Not to mention eating on the train. So why would they provide trash cans?! The konbini, fast food restaurants, and shops all have garbage cans. Heck, even most vending machines have bottle and can disposals beside them.”
I guess my opening scenario is a no go…

And as it has for many people at one point or another, this lack of garbage cans bugged me from time to time. But to be completely honest with you, after taking the time to look through all of the articles written about it, talk to a variety of people about it, and gain a more full and complete view, I no longer feel bothered by it like I did before (although I’m sure I will the next time I need to throw out a wrapper or yakitori stick ^_- ).
I guess ignorance isn’t always bliss after all~

And I guess this really wasn’t much of a rant…
Well, I can still always complain about the lack of spatial awareness in Japan!

 

overflowing tokyo trash can

Tokyo Trash Can

 

 

Apr
28

Japanese People and Drunken Explosions

The title pretty much says it all. Japanese people… Tightly wound and constantly practicing enryo* and gamman* (the Japanese practices of ‘holding back’). But when the sake (or beer… or whiskey… or whatever the drink du-jour happens to be) gets flowing, it all comes undone.

I can’t count the number of times that I have seen the following happen:
End of year - bounenkai party season – all the office members make their way to an izakaya (Japanese bars) and the drinks start to flow. All fun and games at first, and then at some point in the evening a fight breaks out. There is yelling, there is screaming, and from time to time there is even a little bit of physical violence. Maybe someone gets a little too irritated with the new guy who wont shut up, or maybe Mr. Shy finally gets up the drunken nerve to tell the office cutie just what he thinks about her and her short skirts… But no matter what the situation, the example is illustrated.

And it doesn’t just stop there. Believe it or not, its not an uncommon occurrence for a Japanese man who lives away from his family to call in a drunken rage and proceed to yell at his wife blaming all his problems on her. Then, as if that isn’t quite enough, he’ll even go so far as to make her put the kids on the phone so he can share the brunt of his drunken decision with them!

And if the office and the home were where it stopped, you might not be reading this post.
But as it would seem, it seems to seep its way into the streets, parks, trains, and anywhere that these drunken time-bombs walk.

My story comes to you back from the year 2007… I was sitting on a bullet train on my way to Sendai Japan when a man who smelled of alcohol from 5 meters away decided to wobble his way over to the seat next to me and try and start up a conversation. To add to everything, he thought it would help his cause to speak English.

He slammed himself into the seat next to me and opened the conversation with “My daughter’s a b****” (which I would later find out he was mistaking for the word “whore”).  My jaw hit the floor and his story began.
The next 25+ minutes (which felt close to an hour) was filled with his attempt at telling a story in English…
What was the story about? While I could barely understand a word that came out of his mouth, his message was still crystal clear: He was not happy.

My tipping point in this particular conversation was when the man started going on and on about how his daughter liked gaijin and how gaijin were destroying this country, his daughter, and his life.
Honestly… what in the world could have possibly possessed this man to think that I would be the person to talk to about this?!?!
But I just kept telling myself, ‘He’s Drunk. He’s Drunk‘ figuring that it would come to a sleepy end soon enough. But then the bomb finally went off and he spit out the line that I suppose was inevitable,

“So go back your country foreigner”.

At this point, my face kinda looked like this –> (O.o)

I was tired, he was drunk, and honestly, I just wanted to enjoy my train ride.
So, I thanked him for the conversation and stood up.
And what does he do? He grabs my arm and pulls me back down into my seat. And to this, my reaction was less than passive.
I grabbed his hand by the wrist, looked him in the eye, and asked him quite sternly not to touch me again.
He paused for a moment.

And then… something mysterious happened…

He reached for his bag… and as if pulling a rabbit out of a hat, he pulls out a bottle of Japanese alcohol.
He holds it in front of me and with an almost mischievous grin on his face, says, “let’s drinking!”

What would you do?
I have never really been one to turn down interesting opportunities or situations in my life, and so I accepted.

As the time passed and the contents of the bottle depleted, the tension that once filled the air dissipated and the man who once seemed my enemy was now seeming much more like my friend.
We drank and talked (or at least tried to talk) for over a good hour. We showed pictures of our loved ones, talked about the good and bad of Japan, shared life stories and laughs, and even exchanged business cards. And in the end it came to a close just as I had originally predicted… He fell asleep. And that was it. I got off at my stop with another story in my pocket, and a difficulty walking a straight line.

He didn’t really want to fight. They very rarely do.

And so we wrap up yet another rant. Hopefully a little wiser, or at the very least, feeling slightly entertained.

After speaking to friends, colleagues, and random Japan-lovers about this, I found that many people have their own unique and interesting stories in this area, so I invite you to share!!

Apr
02

Why I Avoid Helping People in Tokyo

I was always raised to believe that we should help our fellow man. If someone is struggling, we should assist. If someone is in trouble, we should help. If someone drops something, we should pick it up for them.
But after years in Tokyo I have learned that this is not the case.

Speaking more accurately, it would be safe to say that this is not the case if you want to live a normal and happy life. Time and time again I have been through experiences that have proven to me that helping other people in Tokyo is more trouble than it’s worth. I have seen countless examples of this in a wide variety of situations ranging from being detained for three and a half hours after trying to help a woman who was suddenly grabbed by a guy on the train (while other ‘Japanese’ who helped were released within minutes), to having the better part of my afternoon eaten away because I decided to turn in a wallet I found on the ground.

And that’s where we will start this post. A seemingly harmless wallet. Sitting on the ground. I see it. I stop. I think. And then I make a terrible decision… I think to myself “whoa… a wallet. That’s pretty important… I better turn that in!“. (stupid, Stupid, Stupid).

It was a Sunday morning around 11 am. I’ll never forget that because I was on my way out to meet some friends that I hadn’t seen in years and we were going to have lunch together at noon. I was on my way to the station when I found a simple black wallet laying on the ground. With the koban (police box) being only about 100-200 meters away, I thought I would quickly drop it off before I hopped on the train. So I picked it up, and swung into the koban.

The initial reaction of the police was to greet me with a smile and to clear off the table where they keep the map, probably assuming that I was there to ask directions .  Anyone who has spent a long enough time in Tokyo, will tell you that the police are always much more friendly if they think you’re a tourist (For more tips on how to deal with Japanese police, please subscribe and wait for my post Japanese Police).

But the moment that I presented the wallet and began to explain (in Japanese) that it was found on the ground roughly 200 meters from here, things changed. For the most part, the majority of the officers were seemingly fine with the situation, however 2 of them stood staring at me as if I had just committed murder.

One of the nicer officers pulled out a form and asked me to take a seat. He had me fill out the form with my name, number, address, and details about where the wallet was found. All of this was simple enough, but part way through, one of the less-than-happy-to-see-me officers came up and picked up the paper. He took a good long look at my name and asked me to present my foreign registration card. As I went to hand it to him he quickly and aggressively snatched/swiped it out of my hand, bent it back and forth, checked the hologram, and then proceeded to call in a check on me.

Needless to say I was shocked. But since I knew nothing bad was going to turn up, I sat back and waited.
And while I waited he went into the back. He still had the lost-item-form that I had filled out, and was looking through a shelf of binders. Finally he pulled one out, and pulled it down. He then asked me if the address I had written down was my real address. I told him it was, and he replied with “Then…. if that’s the case, please point out your house to me on this map”. I did this with ease, and he proceeded to drop the binder on the table in front of me and flip through the pages. Finally he stopped at one that seemed somehow familiar.

“Is this your house?”. he asked.
“Yea”, I responded.
“Then which one of these rooms is yours? hmm?”, he said with a bit of a sarcastic tone.
“My room number is on the damn registration card. Figure it out for yourself.”, I replied with just as much attitude as he gave me (in retrospect, probably not one of my better ideas, and there’s a good chance I made things more difficult for myself by doing so)
“So you don’t know? You can’t point it out?”, he snapped back at me. Clearly frustrated with the attitude I had fed him.
“It’s this one, ok.”, I said pointing to my room.

He spent the next 5 or so minutes filling out some form from that binder, while looking at my alien registration card. After which he spent the next 10 minutes on the phone with the binder, the paper, and my card in front of him. Needless to say, I was getting pretty stressed out.

I had already been in this koban for about 20 minutes now, and I was pretty sure I was going to be late.

Finally, he came out from his desk in the back, and dropped a form that had a series of empty boxes and a pad of black ink in front of me.

“One by one, put your fingers in the ink, and then mark your fingerprint in the corresponding box”, he said as if I had just been arrested or something.
“Is this necessary? Do I really have to do this?!”, I responded as I got more and more irritated by the situation.
“Are you trying to hide something?”, he shot back in an antagonizing manner.
“Whatever, this is BS”, I mumbled as I started to mark my finger prints on the page.

At this point I was about as upset as I could be, and to make matters worse, he didn’t even bring me a tissue to wipe my hands with.
Finally, I asked him to get me a tissue, and he laughed with a “hmmphh” and walked away…
After 2 minutes of wondering if he was coming back, he came back and dropped a single tissue onto my lap.

“I need to confirm that you don’t have any dangerous items on you. Would you empty your pockets and allow me to pat you down?”, he asked in a tone that made it clear that I didn’t really have a choice.
“Yea yea, whatever. Just hurry up”, I said trying to stop my hand from clenching into a fist with frustration.

I emptied my pockets, and even let him empty out my wallet onto the table (which he later mad me clean up).

“You don’t have your passport on you?”, he asked as he patted me down.
“Do you? Who carries their passport with them 24/7!?”, I spit out without a thought.
“What type of visa are you on?”, he asked. Now looking me right in the eyes.
I told him my visa type and pointed out once again, that such information can be found on my alien registration card which he still held in his hand.
“But you don’t have your passport on you?”, again he wasn’t even looking at me.
“Are you kidding me?! Like seriously. Is this how you treat everyone who turns in lost property?!”, I practically yelled at him.
“So then where is your passport?”, he asked completely ignoring my explosion.
“Hmmm… I wonder where it could be. Maybe… Home. Where the hell else would I leave it!?”
“Ok. Well, you claim to live around here, so why don’t we go get it.” he said back to me.
“Why the hell do you need my passport anyway?”
“Because I need to see your visa stamp and verify that you are here legally”,  he said with a bit of a grin on his face.
“Listen, I need to go. I am already late for meeting someone”
“I need your passport. So let’s go” he said, gesturing towards the door as he exited the koban.

I figured that sitting here arguing with him wasn’t getting me anywhere, so I decided to get up and walk with him to my place. Another officer accompanied us, and as I walked down the street, I couldn’t help but wonder to myself what my neighbors would think if they saw me being escorted by 2 uniformed officers.

We finally arrived at my house, and they followed me right into the building. In fact if it wasn’t for a slightly similar incident several months before, they would have managed to step right into my room. But this time I knew that they didn’t have the legal right to enter my actual room and managed to hold them at bay with the fact that I knew that.
I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me, and yet our fine officer had the nerve to open it right back up.

“Close the f***ing door! I’m not cooling the whole building!”, I snapped at him from inside. Hoping that he wouldn’t notice that I didn’t even have the cooler on right now.

It’s not that I had anything to hide, but rather I just couldn’t bring myself to a point where I didn’t want to piss him off at least a little.

I quickly emerged from my room with my passport, and before I could even present it to him, he reached down and snatched it out of my hand.
We made our way back to the koban, and he kept my passport in his hand the entire time.
When we got back, he asked me to take a seat, and he went into the back, sat down, opened up my passport, and picked up the phone.

For the better part of an hour I sat. He spent 5 minutes on the phone, 40+ minutes talking to the other officers and looking through binders, and then another 2 minutes or so on the phone.
Finally he came out and literally tossed my passport and foreign registration card onto the table in front of me and then pulled up my lost-item-form.

“What was in the wallet when you found it?”, he asked as he stared right at me.
“I don’t really know. I only looked briefly to check if it was discarded or dropped”, I said calmly.
“So you didn’t take anything from it?”, he asked, absolutely flooring me with the directness of his question.
“You checked my pockets right?!? You even went through my wallet. Does it look like I took anything?! SERIOUSLY, What the hell is wrong with you?!”, I practically yelled.
“hmmph. haha. relax relax”, he said with a condescending laugh. He was obviously pleased that he had gotten the better of me.

After about another 10 minutes or so of confirming my story of where and how I found the wallet, he finally told me that I was free to go in a tone that would imply that the whole thing was no big deal.

 

Now… For the sake of getting The Japan Rants up and running, I will stop this post here for now and add my personal thoughts and reflections at a later date. But Don’t let that stop you from tossing in your thoughts now~

 


Apr
02

The Little Pervert

It was that hour of the day where the sun is painting everything in the city a beautiful shade of orange as I boarded the train. All of the seats were taken, but the train wasn’t what I would call crowded.  I stood in the middle of the area where the doors were, and put in my headphones. I had just finished an interview with a fairly famous musician about an hour before, and was looking forward to getting home.
Standing 2 or 3 steps away from me to my right was a girl of about 23 in a short skirt and tall boots. Deadly combo. She had a sweet face, but I guessed she probably worked as a hostess somewhere. I shifted my focus off of her and onto the recording of my interview.

At the next station, a young boy of about 14 years old wearing a school uniform boarded the train.
And this… is where things started.

As the kid boarded the train, he stood behind her at a distance that couldn’t have been more than a few centimeters. This stood out. The train wasn’t all that crowded and he was in plain view of everyone. And everyone noticed. But this is Japan, which means that just as quickly as they noticed, they switched to pretending that they saw nothing.
You know what they say… Ignorance is bliss.
But the girl noticed and she took about 2 steps closer to the door. It would seem that she couldn’t maintain the same blissful state as the other passengers. And if this had been any normal day, or any normal 14 year old Japanese kid, the story might have stopped there.
But instead, the young guy waited about 10 seconds and reached up to grab the handle near the do0r. As he did this he ever-so-slyly moved himself back into position, almost pressed up against this girl.
Much to my surprise, she did nothing. For almost a full minute she remained exactly where she was with this little Japanese boy pressed up against her. But as we arrived at the next station, she took this as an opportunity to maneuver herself into the corner space created by the intersection of the doors and the seats.
As soon as the door closed, he moved in again. Just as sly as last time. But this time, pressed right up against her.

Now… From the moment this started, everyone on the train noticed. And yet nobody reacted. Nobody said a thing, and nobody did a thing.  In fact, I started to wonder if I was going crazy or completely misreading the situation. In fact the little f***er even had the balls to not only make, but hold eye contact with me several times in the reflection of the glass.  His face and eyes carrying an expression that would imply that nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
I was confused.
Was I really seeing this?! Should I say something?! Do something?!

And that’s when the situation changed a little. He started to bend his knees and actually rub up against her, and this was when I caught a glimpse of her face. It was no longer sweet, but instead she looked furious, and was pouring sweat.

Now, I have a standing promise with myself to not get involved in other peoples issues here in Japan. In Japan (especially in Tokyo) making an attempt to help someone out, can often turn around on you and make for a very long and stressful day. (See “Why I No Longer Help People in Tokyo“). But this was a little more than I was willing to take.

I lightly grabbed him by his back pack and only meant to pull him backwards, but when I noticed, I had partially lifted him off the ground to the point where his toes were barely touching. I thought to myself that I should stop, but for some reason I just didn’t care in that moment. There I stood in front of everybody holding this boy who now looked like a cat being held by the scruff of its neck, and I just couldn’t care less that they were all staring. I remember myself thinking “A girl is getting felt up on the train, and you all do nothing, but NOW you stare?!?“.

With him still in the air, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. I gave him 2 options, neither one particularly attractive, but the later of the 2 at least allowed him to escape without any real damage being done.
He froze and said nothing. People were still staring and I was becoming increasingly more aware of my situation and the number of people watching me.
And then, he finally gave in (and I let go). He went with the second option (which was a very public-style apology). Right there in front of everyone in the train, he dropped down on his hands and knees and apologized to the girl (which in retrospect was not as good of an idea as I had originally hoped considering this only served to embarrass her further >_<). After his apology, he remained in his bow for what felt like an eternity (but in reality was probably less than 15 seconds)

As the doors opened at the next station, the young boy got off and disappeared at a speed that I can only describe as impressive considering his size.
He was gone, but I was still stuck on the train with this girl and all the witnesses. I really should have gotten off with him. Hindsight is always 20/20…

As the train finally arrived at its last stop the girl turned to me over her shoulder and took a moment to thank me. We are friends to this day, and it turns out that I was right about her job (^_-). (I still think her choice of outfit that day was… well… problematic to say the least. But that’s for another post).

At the end of this I was left feeling shocked, flabbergasted, and having a lot less faith in humans than I did when I left home that day (which is pretty bad considering that those numbers are already running pretty low…).
I found myself truly concerned with this country and what it’s coming to.
Honestly, what does it say when a kid of that age is already taking part in these type of activities?!

This incident was actually one of the main moments that inspired this website.
I wonder what that little 14 year old is doing now… On second thought, probably better not to think about it.

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