Sep
03

Japanese Upskirt Chikan – Sexual Harassment on Japanese Trains

In the last week, there have been 3 major chikan cases to hit the news related to upskirt photos and upskirt videos here in Japan. The Ex-IBM Japan president, an Osaka assistant-judge, and a Tokyo Metro employee.
In answer to your question: Yes. Japanese men are perverts. And while I would have loved to include the word “some” in that sentence, the more I look into this issue and reflect on my own experiences, the harder it is to consider including that word.

The really scary part is that a) Upskirt Chikan is a common issue/news story in Japan, and b) The Japanese man in question (a.k.a. the “chikan” or pervert) usually shows little-to-no regret. In fact, unless their company goes under scrutiny for it, they usually act like taking pictures up women’s skirts is as natural as asking for her phone number…

When I sit down to write things like this, it’s really difficult to figure out where to start…
The Japanese upskirt issue is one of great magnitude and so I will humbly offer little more than the basic facts along with my thoughts and experiences.

Let’s start simply with only the cases within the last week.

Ex-IBM Japan President Turned Chikan
Takuya Otoshi, the ex-president of IBM Japan used an iPod as his camera of choice when filming an upskirt video of a Japanese woman on an escalator in Tokyo station. And while Tokyo police, in all their useful glory, have (at this point) refused to confirm any allegations, the man’s statement that he was interested in voyeurism, pretty much speaks for itself.

Osaka Assistant Judge Takes His Pervert Oath
When Toshiki Hanai (who even as an assistant judge is surprisingly only 27-years-young) was arrested for squatting and attempting to get upskirt photos with his cellphone, he told police that he was wondering what kind of underwear the woman was wearing. Examination of his cellphone found that he was a curious little chikan judge who seemed to wonder what MANY women’s underwear looked like!

Perverted Tokyo Metro Employee Wants In On The Fun
This one doesn’t really surprise me. Have you ever met a Tokyo Metro Employee? They often remind me of the seedy looking stock-boys that you might find working through the night at a discount super market.
This particular winner was a 38-year-old electrician who fancied long walks on the beach and upskirt photography in Shibuya crossing. And surprise, surprise…. An investigation quickly uncovered more photos and videos taken at various stations and within various train cars.

And keep in mind, this has all just been in the last week…
Welcome to chikan.
…oops.. Sorry. Misspelled that.
I mean, Welcome to Japan.

The lines are starting to get fuzzy and it’s getting hard to differentiate. In the same way that many Japanese believe that the word 和 “wa” or “Harmony” means Japan, I am beginning to feel that the word “Chikan” means Japan.

The case of the IBM president doesn’t really surprise or concern me all that much. Middle-aged Japanese salary man with more money than common sense looking for a little excitement in his daily life. Seems unfortunately standard. If anything it reminds me of an upskirt chikan case from a while back that actually made me laugh.

Back in September of 2011, a Hosei University student in his early 20′s was arrested for taking an upskirt video of an 18-year-old girl on an escalator. His weapon of choice: An iPod Nano tied to his shoe.
I remember sitting and watching the news the night that this story broke loose. The school-aged chikan had apparently thought it a good idea to simply work the iPod Nano into his shoelaces. When the newscast showed a picture of his shoe with the iPod tied into it, it was so incredibly obvious that I couldn’t help but break into laughter at the half-assed approach of this up-and-coming pervert.

The police report said that when they searched his home computer, they found over 250 videos, of up to 200 different girls.

Wait.
Let’s take a moment to analyze that last statement: they found over 250 videos, of up to 200 different girls.

So do you mean to tell me that they actually watched through more than 250 upskirt videos and attempted to identify how many of these were different girls? Is that really a necessary point of information?! Or did these police simply want to create a seemingly legitimate reason to watch over 250 upskirt chikan videos?
Kinda sounds like a cop taking away weed, and going back to the station to smoke it and test if it is really medical or not…

And if you are doubting for a single second that this is the case, don’t allow yourself to be fooled into a false sense of security. It is not uncommon whatsoever for even the police in Japan to be caught taking upskirt videos. Almost yearly there are stories on the news of this. And if we  do not conservatively assume that the police manage to successfully hide even half of these police chikan cases, the number of stories still too daunting.

In 2011 the National Police Agency reported a 23% rise in Japanese police misconduct leading to disciplinary action. And unfortunately, police misconduct in Japan doesn’t stop at upskirt photography or chikan. Japanese police have been known to start fights on trains while off-duty, or even go as far as rape.
Once again, I wish I could say that all of these were rare cases.

It’s just so incredibly common. And is may be happening around us at any given time.

A year or so ago, I was on the Chiyoda Line in Tokyo and was watching a Japanese man fall asleep on the train bench across from the one on which I was sitting. It was winter at the time and he had his jacket draped over his shoulders like a blanket. And as he fell asleep, he leaned lower and lower to the right. I couldn’t help but watch, as there was no-one beside him and I was sure he was just going to end up laying out flat on the bench.
And if I hadn’t watched him with the enthusiasm and intensity that I did, I might have missed it.

Something was odd. Although he seemed to be nodding off, his face seemed to have an unusual amount of focus in it. And that’s when I noticed that his eyelids were partially open and his eyes were moving. Not 2 seconds after, I noticed a little red light from inside his jacket. He was filming with his cellphone. I looked a few seats away from me and there was a girl in a school uniform who couldn’t have been older than 15.

I was surprised at first, and the surprise quickly turned to anger. And before I knew it, I was furious. I got out of my seat and stood right in front of him, blocking his view and the view of the camera. As the train was nearly empty, this action stood out. He “woke up” right away and I re-positioned myself in-between him and the girl again. This upset him.

He tried to move seats, but I once again, very directly positioned myself between him and the girl. He looked up and yelled at me in Japanese,  “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!” to which I could only reply “What the hell is wrong with YOU?!?”
He started at me shocked and irritated.
I unloaded on him (verbally) and he tried to get off at the next station. All I could do was follow him. And I did so… With volume. When I threatened to drag him to the koban, he finally gave in and said “FINE. I’ll delete the video“, to which I said “Ok. But I am going to stand here and watch you do it.”

He opened up his keitai and went to the videos section. The idiot pervert opens up the file to show me that it is the one he is deleting, and I take my chance. I grab the phone (which was attached to a lanyard around his neck) and scream out to a nearby Tokyo Metro station staff, who in all his glory sauntered over as if he was on his way to the bathroom. The entire time the man beside me was struggling to get back his phone.

I disconnected the phone from the lanyard, handed it to the staff and told him that the first video in it had just been taken by this man on the train. As he opened up the video, his face was that of pure shock and horror. By this time a security guard who had been alerted to the ruckus I had caused, had made his way over and the man was taken to the police. Luckily for me, the idiot Tokyo Metro staff didn’t have the sense to keep me around and he let me go.

The part of this that really made me think was the fact that the train wasn’t even crowded. It was near empty and this amateur upskirt videographer still had the nerve to try and get a shot.
Which begs the question, how common is this really?

I have searched and searched and not been able to find any solid, useable statistics.

But the simple fact that many trains have (time-designated) “Woman Only” cars, many stations and trains are constantly adding more and more cameras, and the fact that there are actual, specially trained under-cover chikan/upskirt video searching officers in many stations around Tokyo, should tell you that this is an alarmingly common issue.

So much that it can cause problems that don’t even exist. Some women end up becoming so incredibly paranoid and sensitive due to the sheer volume and presence of chikan that it is not uncommon for a woman to think that a perverted act has taken place even when it hasn’t. And while it’s easy to say that some of these Japanese women might just enjoy crying wolf, it’s also just as easy to see how the lines of sexual harassment and reality can be blurred when you are constantly surrounded by it.
And unfortunately, from time to time innocent men become the victims of these misunderstandings and some suffer greatly.

I remember being on the Yamanote line and watching two Japanese men in their 40′s facing each other, talking near the door. They seemed like friendly guys, and their conversation was one of quality. They were talking about their children and praising each others’ wives for the hard work they do.

I was enjoying some casual eavesdropping when a woman who had litterally just stepped off the train, turned around and in a move that she could only have learned in a billy blanks tae bo exercise video, swung at one of the men who not seconds before had been laughing while telling a story of something his child had done.

She screamed frantically for some reason accusing him of grabbing her ass. He looked terrified. Both him and his co-worker tried to reason with her and explain that no such event had taken place, but she wouldn’t hear anything of it. she grabbed the mans dress shirt by the button area and started trying to pull him off the train. As she pulled, his shirt ripped. More and more.
The entire time she was screaming for someone to help her. Within seconds, 2 guys stood up, grabbed the man and forced him off the train along with her. The station staff were already nearby on the platform, and his co-worker rushed out of the train with a very concerned look in his eyes. The door closed.

It all happened so incredibly fast. As the train pulled away, I had barely processed the events of the last 10-30 seconds and felt confused, scared, worried, and so many other things…
He hadn’t done anything. I know because I was standing right there. Listening and staring as if I were a Japanese person looking at a foreigner. But even knowing first-hand that he was innocent, after watching this woman’s reaction and the whole situation, I began to feel doubt for him. A completely illogical doubt. But she had been convincing. She genuinely seemed to believe that he had touched her on the train…
As I said, reality starts to blur, and it becomes tough to tell what has actually happened when these occurrences are so common.

A Japanese friend later told me that if this man was convicted of chikan, then he was basically finished. His life would be essentially over. That night, I hoped for this mans safe return to his wife and child.
It scared me to think that this simple family-man on his way home, could potentially have his life ruined by a misunderstanding caused by fear and clouded lines of reality.

This type of situation is something that many Japanese men fear. In my first couple weeks in Tokyo, I was on the train with a Japanese friend. One of my hands was on the handle and the other hand was by my side. He suddenly reached down, grabbed my wrist and held it up.

“Both hands up on trains. Imagine a gun is pointed at you. Both hands up or both hands busy”

These were the words of wisdom he passed on to me that day. He pointed out all of the other men around us, and to my surprise, almost every man standing, had both hands up in some form. Whether it be handle and book, handle and keitai, or just both hands up on handles and bars, almost every man (especially those standing near women) had 2 hands up.
I learned something valuable that day.

So really, these perverts taking upskirt pictures and videos or feeling chicks up on the train are making things harder for everyone. These chikan are a poison to Japan, and if you read my piece about the 14-year-old pervert, you will be able to see that things are only getting worse.

Why do these people think they can get away with chikan? Because they think nobody is looking. And I hate to say it, but most of the time they are right…

So Japan… It’s time to open your eyes. It’s time to reclaim Japan from the perverts.

Please take a minute and share this piece in any way you can.

For more reading on the Japanese Chikan situation please check out this document.

 

 

Aug
31

Make-up and Lies

“It is amazing what make up can hide. If you want to know what she really looks like, take her swimming. Japanese girls without make-up are a totally different ball game man.”

Words of wisdom from a Japanese friend many years ago as I showed him a picture of a beautiful Japanese girl I had just started dating.
She was 21 years old, with beautiful hair which was both full and long. Her eyes are what caught my attention the day I met her, and she was always elegantly dressed. She liked high-heels and had her nails done in a different way every time I met her. And in spite of all of this, she looked very natural. She didn’t seem to have make-up caked on, and kept to sensible clothing (aside from the 7-day a week heels).
And this natural look, lured me into a false sense of security.

And so, heed his advice I did not.
I’ve seen girls (white girls, that is) without make-up before and it was never really that bad. So I sat back and thought to myself, “honestly, how bad could it possibly be?”

Well, the first red flag came when I saw her without heels or nails… Something was different. Not bad different. But different. She hadn’t gained any weight in the 15 hours since we last met, and yet suddenly, she somehow seemed chubby. But it suited her. She was cute that way and I liked it. I thought no more of it.

I let the red flag go down, and my defenses along with it.

We had been dating for a couple months when my friends advice finally made sense.
We took a bit of a trip together and I woke up one morning to find that she wasn’t beside me. I got up to grab breakfast, and saw the bathroom door half-open with the light on. Naturally I walked over and began to say good morning…
and that’s when I saw it…

For those of you who are thinking that I walked in on her on the toilet, you are both kinda gross and kinda dumb. Did you even read the article up until now? Try and put 2 and 2 together would ya…
For the rest of you… What I saw was much more surprising than what I ever could have expected.
She was drying her face with a towel, and as she brought the towel down I saw a completely different girl standing in front of me. Almost boyish. Tiny eyes, porous and blotchy skin colored a sickly yellow and almost no eyelashes or eyebrows.
For a moment the image of Darth Vader prepping to put on his helmet popped into my mind. My face went blank.

The second she noticed that I was there she freaked. Without even taking a second to look at me she covered her face back up with the towel and slammed the bathroom door, locking it quickly after.

But honestly… I didn’t mind. It was still her… right?

The first half of the day went by without us even speaking to each other. Not a word.
And by evening, it started to become very clear where things were heading.
That night at dinner, she finally spoke. She was furious. She said that me looking at her face without make-up was an invasion of her privacy, and utilized that single point to launch the discussion into an argument that would inevitably end in the demise of our relationship.

I took the break-up pretty harsh. And couldn’t help but notice that the girl that I spoke to that night was very different from the sweet girl I had been dating. We had been through arguments before. What couple hasn’t? But nothing that had ever come up had lead her to act the way she had acted that night. And then it started to become more and more clear… The make-up wasn’t just hiding her face… It was hiding her personality.

And so time went by and I moved on. And years later I found myself in a situation that brought back memories and began to set off red flags. The girl that I was dating this time, had no problem showing her face without make-up, and all-in-all she didn’t look all that different with or without it (with the exception of eye-size… which for many Japanese girls is the primary reason for their make-up). But this particular girl had 2 very distinct personalities…
While wearing make-up she was calm, and gentle. Some might even call her sweet.
But when the make-up came off, so did the gloves…

As I have written and re-written this section several times but can not find the words to explain how this girl acted without make-up on, I will simply summarize by saying that she was no longer, in any way, lady-like or pleasant.
And, we will leave it at that.

And while at first, this was all a major shock, I have slowly grown to be intrigued by the things that Japanese girls can do with their make-up. It is… for the lack of a better description… Kinda like art!

When white girls pile on the make-up and fake eyelashes, and all the extras, they tend to just look like a chick who is wearing way to much make-up. But when a Japanese girl does it, it seems to work. And whether this be that it simply requires some Japanese girls to wear that much make-up in order to look cute, or whether their methods of application are actuallythatskillful, the end result is the same.

What really blew my mind about it, is the fact that Japanese guys all seem to know that girls who wear a lot of make-up are hiding something, and yet so many of them love these chicks…

“I know when all that make-up comes off, she will probably look like my father, but it doesn’t mean that I ever need to see her like that“, is the line that I got from a guy in Shibuya who was standing in front of the station trying to nanpa (pick-up) heavily make-up’d girls.

In fact there are even TV programs that show was Japanese girls look like with and without make-up!
And what’s more… There are even iPhone apps loaded with pictures of beautiful girls who’s make-up you can remove with the swipe of your finger!

And with all of this… My mind is spinning and I have kinda lost sight of where I was going with this post… (I’m pretty sure I wanted to write something about Japanese gyaaru in here but just never got around to it).
And so I will stop here for now, and perhaps update again later…

Aug
12

I Think Some Japanese People Want To Speak English

Why to Japanese people answer me in English when I speak to them in Japanese?

A question that many foreign Japanese-speakers find themselves asking at one point or another.

I had been speaking Japanese outside of Japan for about a year when I first set foot in Tokyo. I landed in the country excited to exercise my language skills and headed right to the nearest JR ticket counter to ask for a map and to buy some tickets.

Prepared with my Japanese language skills and a level on confidence which was probably undeserved at the time, I walked up to the counter and made my request in full Japanese. The staff smiled, opened a drawer, and replied to me in what I can only describe as a near-embarrassing attempt at English which came out jumbled and incomprehensible…

I stood, confused.

Why… why when I spoke to her in Japanese, did she answer me in English? And in broken English at that…

I couldn’t understand what she said but didn’t want to make her feel as low as she had just made me feel, and so I put on a smile in return and nodded my head pretending to understand what she had just said to me.

This is a situation that is all-too-familiar for foreigners in Japan.
You say something to a Japanese person in Japanese, and they respond in English.
It’s frustrating.

When I first got to Japan, this bothered me like crazy… It would happen at restaurants, on airplanes, while shopping, and even with friends. And especially in the beginning it felt like a punch in the stomach every single time.
I would always doubt my Japanese skill when it happened. I would wonder if my Japanese was so bad that they felt the need to push the interaction into English just to achieve an acceptable level of communication with me…

But over the years, as my Japanese language skills developed and grew in fluency, elegance, and overall pzazz, I came to realize that it was time to adjust my confidence level. It seemed that my nihongo skill level had little, if nothing, to do with it. The more I improved, the more my confidence grew. And the more my confidence in m Japanese skill grew, the more I began to understand that Some Japanese people just want to speak English.  And the more I understood this point, the less I cared when it happened. In fact, it has worked itself comfortably and naturally into my life to the point where I barely notice anymore.
But that doesn’t mean it goes unnoticed by everyone. Japanese people responding to your nihongo in English can be everything from discouraging to shocking, or for some, even embarrassing or disappointing.

On numerous occasions, I have had to laugh as I hear people say things like “I have had more chances to speak Japanese in my own country then when I visited Japan. Everyone here seems to want to practice their English”
Why do I laugh? Because it’s true.

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to meet more Japanese people in social and business situations than I can even count. And I have found that there are 4 main types of English-speaking Japanese people that you will commonly encounter:

 

Type A – Can’t Speak English, But Want To

This type is pretty much harmless. They are generally friendly and may simply be fascinated with foreigners or English but had little chance in their life to use or try it. At the very worst, they are the type who view gaijin as a brand, and may even go through great efforts to befriend you.
Some people will take their attempts at English as “microaggressions” (aka a mild, unintentional form of racism), but in the end, I think it holds more of a child-like curiosity tone to it. (I once went a little far with this analogy comparing it to a young child seeing a new animal for the first time, and mimicking the animals sound in the hopes of achieving communication. They might just wanna be friends! – this analogy was not well taken by some. lol)

 

Type B – Can Speak English, But Have No Confidence

This type, much like Type A, are relatively harmless. Chances are, unless you actually ask them, or unless someone else says something, you may not even know that they speak English. They come in all shapes and personality types, and usually had a rather specific reason for studying English in the first place (whether it was for a certain goal, or simply a strong personal interest). While still very much aware of the fact that you are a foreigner (and potentially more aware than Type A of what that really means), Type B will usually be happy as long as they can communicate with you.

 

Type C – Can Speak English, But Don’t Really Care

I like this type. They can speak English, but will typically carry the communication with you in whatever language you set as the precedent. More often than not, the language will jump back and forth seamlessly in conversation with them, and there is more often than not, a general feeling of equality. Type C is the truly internationally-minded type and unfortunately they are also the rarest type.

 

Type D – Can Speak English And Want To Show It

This is the type to watch out for. They are the ones who will blatantly ignore your Japanese and respond with English, and they are commonly a little different from the average Japanese person. These people see English as “cool” and therefore want to be seen/heard speaking it as often as possible. Unfortunately, this usually comes from a deep seeded issue with their self-esteem, and therefore it doesn’t stop with English. It is far from uncommon for these people to be disliked by fellow Japanese and foreigners alike for being condescending or generally annoying.

Note: I have purposefully left out 2 types from this list
Type P, which are people like the JR staff above, who may just be doing it for the sake of “professionalism” and making things easier.
and Type O, which are the elderly people who will approach you in any range of situations just to practice their English.
I have left these types out, because 9 times out of 10, the person in types P or O will also overlap into one of the above 4 types.

So when it comes down to it, there is only one type that you really need to be concerned about; Type D. But even though three out of four sounds like pretty good odds, it’s still a little tough to put a population percentage statistic to each type, so it’s still up to you to identify and adjust your social filter.

I was going to add an entire section talking about what do do when a Japanese person responds to your Japanese in English, but instead, I’d really like to hear your thoughts. What do you do in that situation?

 

Closing Thought…
The scary part is that if you really think about it… You could apply almost every point in this to foreigners who speak Japanese….

 

 

Jul
20

Bullying (Ijime) in Japan

“We’re glad he killed himself. We wanted him dead”
These were the words of the classmates who bullied a 13-year old boy to the point of suicide.

Disgust.

That is all I am left with as I turn off the TV and try to stop myself from booking a one-way ticket out of Japan.

And while I will start by saying that it is true that bullying is not specific to Japan, I would like to open by reminding you that this is The Japan Rants and therein I will be focusing on this country and how incredibly FUBAR the bullying/ijime situation is here.

This piece is not going to be pretty. So if you think there is even the slightest chance that you might not want to get in to this topic, I suggest you stop right here.

This post is meant to be more of a forum for comments and thoughts.
Honestly speaking I can’t wrap my head around this topic in the way that I would like to, and I want to hear your thoughts. Under the condition that we stick to the topic of Japan. Bullying in Japan.

I am not going to get deep into explaining the current bullying situation in Japan, as there is already a wealth of information available on this topic. One can easily find countless articles, and just to help those of you who are not entirely aware of the details or depth of this issue, I have posted links to a few here:

Facts And Details – Bullying in Japanese Schools [recommended read - detailed]

Education in Japan – Bullying Behavior in Japanese Schools

SeeTell – Japan’s War on Children: Bullying and Abuse

BBC News – Japans Deadly Bullying Problem

All Look Same? – Why Bullying is so Common in Japan

Reuters – Cyber-bullying in Japan

Video: 7-year-old boy being bullied

Now I’m going to assume that you didn’t actually go through and read all of them (although I chose these 5 for a reason and really do recommend reading them all), but providing that you took the time to read even one, you will have somewhat of a clear understanding as to the degree of the Japanese bullying issue.

I have read through all of them. More than once. and honestly I don’t even know where to start.

Bullying (ijime ) in Japan is so incredibly different than it is in the West and comes in a terrifying variety of shapes and forms. Sometimes it is physical, sometimes mental. But it always crosses the line. And in a country where people try to avoid conflict at all costs, it is rarely dealt with.

Japanese friends have shared stories of bullying that rang from mental warfare, to theft and destruction of personal property, all the way up to Japanese children (and when I say children, I am talking about 15-years-old or younger) sexually abusing classmates or even their classmates mothers.
And while mental warfare may not sound all that terrifying, just try to imagine your classmates forcing you to practice suicide techniques on a daily basis, and having the teachers and adults around you do nothing about it.

Some stories are heartbreaking, and others are nothing short of disgusting and frightening.

In the hopes of keeping this post short and to-the-point, I want to list some of the points that I find terrifying about Japan and ijime:

Suicide
The primary cause of suicide for individuals under 18 (a.k.a. children) in Japan is bullying.
Children as young as 10-years-old or younger have been and are continuing to be pushed to take their own lives.

Schools Deny It
I find it amazing that in a country where teachers will roam the streets at night to make sure kids from their schools are not out too late, that the teachers are the first to say there is no problem. Teachers, principals, and schools claim suicide-after-suicide that bullying was not the cause (no matter how much bullying actually occurred)

Teachers Are Targets Too
You will be hard-pressed to find a teacher in Japan who hasn’t been the victim of some form of bullying attempt. Many bullies in Japan will see the teacher as an obstacle to first be destroyed or stripped of any power/credibility before they take action on their targeted classmate. Some Japanese teachers have been known break down, explode, quit, or even commit suicide under this pressure.

Lack of Action by Parents
While I am sure that there are just as many parents who are making incredible efforts to support and help their bullied children, I can’t help but look at the numbers and wonder what the rest are (or aren’t) doing.
And what is worse, is the parents of the bullies. Why did these people have children if they are not going to take a more active role in their child’s healthy development. Instead, so many parents put the responsibility of their child’s development on the teachers. And we have already covered how great of an idea that is…

More Often Than Not, The Smart Kids Are The Bullies
In many parts of the West, the smart kids are the nerds. They are bullied as they don’t have the confidence or physical strength to protect themselves. But Japan is filled with intelligent children who somehow grow to think that due to their intellectual abilities or parents pay-grades, that their lives are somehow of more value than the lives of their bullied classmates. I cannot even begin to imagine what brings an elementary school child to try and convince a classmate to take their own life…

It’s Not Getting Better, It’s Getting Worse
Almost every year for the last decade, the number of reported bullying cases has increased. The most heartbreaking part of this is that we have barely scratched the surface. The majority of bullying cases in Japan tend to go unreported. And with the problem becoming deeper, and Japanese children becoming less and less forward, an increase in these numbers would seem to imply an overall increase in bullying cases in Japan.

The Problems That Follow
Being bullied can lead to countless problems. While some children may grow to become detached and live a life without connection or trust of anyone around them, others may lash out. in 1996 there was a boy who went as far as to cut off the head of one of this classmates, leaving the head on the school gate with a note in the mouth. The note read “this is the beginning of a game“.

There is so much to say and so much that has been said.
I wrote this piece because I needed to get it out. And now, I want to hear what you think. So please don’t hesitate share your thoughts, opinions, stories, etc.

Jun
28

Making The Best Of It – J’s Story – (The Hottest Brand in Japan Pt. II)

J made his living off of Japanese women. And quite a living it was.

In case the title didn’t tip you off, this piece is an addition to The Hottest Brand In Japan.
If you haven’t read it, I would suggest starting there~

The day I met my old roommate J for the first time, these words rang in my mind,

Japanese people love something exotic. Have you seen all those strange flavors of Pepsi in the convenience stores? We live on an island. An island filled with Japanese people, ruled by Japanese culture, and share a similar Japanese way of thinking. So what could be more exotic to a Japanese person than someone/something not Japanese? Even now [in 2010], most Japanese people cannot speak English, and so even the thought of interacting with a foreigner is unfathomable to some people. Which means when a Japanese person looks at another Japanese person who is hanging out with a foreigner, they see someone doing the unimaginable. It’s like watching someone do magic!! And everyone loves magic tricks right? So, we love to be seen with foreigners. For some it is a novelty, and for some it becomes a lifestyle, but it is what it is and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon, so it’s better to just make the best of it.

“Make the best of it….”

That is exactly what J did.

J came to Tokyo from New Zealand around 2006 and noticed within hours of setting foot in Tokyo how much of a brand foreigners are in Japan. J had started out as an English teacher which helped him earn decent money, but he wasn’t really enjoying it. Luckily for J, it was something he wouldn’t have to endure for long.
Within 2 months, J realized that he could cash-in the gaijin brand, and started making some adjustments.

“It started out with one of my private English students” J started to tell me.
“She was a Japanese woman, 39, single, and living with her parents. She seemed to have a lot of free time and money…
At the start she was paying me 5,000 yen (about $50-70) an hour for our lessons, and we would meet about twice a week for 2 hours at a time. But gradually things changed. The location changed from a cafe, to a bar, and then finally restaurants, with her paying for everything. And just as gradually, we stopped working on English… Before I knew it we were speaking only Japanese. And she was still paying. On top of all of this, she started asking to see me more often, and for longer durations. Before I knew it she was buying me clothing and even having me accompany her to events”

J quit his job as a formal English Teacher and started trying to build more of a base of similar clients. He said that he started with online sites introducing him to private students, and he would try to convert the students into clients.

“Probably only 1 in every 10 or 12 students became a client. And most who didn’t, realized what I was trying to do and would either get upset or stop contacting me completely. Some even accused me of being a himo (a weak man who lives off the money of women and pays for nothing himself). And as right as they were, the ones who stuck around made it all worthwhile”

Within 5 months of coming to Japan, J had a substantial client base and was bringing in a shocking amount of money on a monthly basis. He was well fed, well dressed, and even had one client offering to move him into an apartment near her family’s house and pay the rent for him.

“Most of these Japanese women just wanted to be seen with me.” J said as we talked about his clients one night.
“They take me out to crowded areas and packed restaurants, dress me up in clothes that they think are ideal, and keep me latched onto their side as if I was an expensive handbag.”

And although for some, this may sound like a wonderful way to live, J was equally vocal about the downsides.

“Outside of any moral talk, there are 2 major issues that I constantly have to face.”
These are the words that J placed in my hears in the first of our 11,083 discussions about the problematic side of his himo lifestyle.
“Scheduling and Sex. Most of these women want to meet on Fridays or Saturdays. But my biggest clients usually want to meet on these days and typically can’t commit until the last minute. So I am constantly pressed for excuses as to why I can’t meet people on these days, and then if none of my big clients take the weekend bait, I am either screwed for one of my biggest money-making nights of the week, or stuck apologizing to one of my other clients as I crawl back to them.”

I honestly can’t count the number of times I had to hear him complain about scheduling. He always seemed to work out a new system for scheduling, and something always happened causing it to fall through. And then, there were the sex talks…

“And sex… You just know that at one point or another, she is going to want sex. And the sex… oh the sex is a double edged sword my friend. A real balancing act. Simply put, there is a trend. The longer I manage to hold out sex, the more gifts I get, and the more time and money they put into me in hopes of it. But if I hold out too long, they eventually give up all hope and stop wanting to see me. And once they have finally gotten the sex, things get… well… awkward. They start forgetting to pay, and I conveniently forget to mention anything about it. I honestly just don’t want their money afterwords. And so they either gradually fade away and we lose contact, or they suddenly think that we are in a relationship, and well… that never ends well. So, sex… costs me clients.”

J hated losing clients. And when I say that he hated it, I am wildly understating the point. J would go into a funk for days after losing a client, and this funk more often than not, caused him to lose one or two more additional clients.
He always said that it was the loss of the client that bothered him, but I’d be willing to put good money on the fact that he was struggling to convince himself that he was not engaging in, well…. prostitution.

“I’m not taking money from these Japanese women for sex, so I am not prostituting”
That was his logic. And no matter what anyone said, he always defended himself with that point.

Eventually it got to a point where he didn’t even need to convert students. Women found J.
He came home late one Tuesday night full of energy and alcohol.

“So I was sitting in the park reading when this Japanese woman into her 40′s comes up and starts asking me all the typical gaijin questions. Her English was shit, but before long we were talking in Japanese and out of nowhere she smiles and tells me that she wants to take me out for dinner. So after 10 more minutes of blah blah blah, we walk out of the park and head for a restaurant. Not only did she pay for dinner and 2 bottles of wine, but as I went to get on the train she slipped me 10,000 yen (about $100)! Considering the time I spent with her, it’s lower than what I usually take in, but shit man… she came up to me!”

And so it began. This particular Japanese woman was the first of many who would somehow follow in her path in the months (and years?) to come…

In our late night talks, J always shared what he called the Incredibly Shallow Quotes of the Week with me.
I was always dumbfounded by the stuff these women would say to him.
Some of the weekly winners include:

You are the best accessory I have ever put money into!

I want the b#$% next-door to see me with a foreigner.

Having a white guy beside me helps show people just how smooth and white my skin really is!

You should bring some of your white friends so it looks like I know a lot of foreigners!

And my personal favorite:
Gucci on my left, gaijin on my right. I’m hot today!

J would always talk about how you can’t change the culture or the habits of an entire country, but you can capitalize on it and turn it into something good, or at least something profitable.
Despite all of J’s money and (success?) with his lifestyle, he was surprisingly jaded and negative when it came to Japanese people. He even got a custom shirt made with the words “The deepest part of a Japanese person is their wallet” printed on it.
I guess money doesn’t always buy happiness (cliche enough for ya?).

I always enjoyed the irony of a guy who took money from women in exchange for spending time with them, talking about how shallow and pretentious people can be. There was something poetic about the whole situation.

After about a year of living with J, I moved out. But that wasn’t before hearing some of the most amazing stories that I have ever had the opportunity to hear in my entire life~

J and I don’t talk anymore, but I think back to him from time to time.

Gotta wonder what J is doing right about now…

Jun
25

The Hottest Brand in Japan

Some people would call Japan and it’s people pretentious.

Take a walk through the streets of Tokyo’s Ginza district on any Sunday of the month, and you will have a fair idea of why they might think this way. And while there is much to be said on this statement alone, I will leave that for another post.

It is a well known fact that Japanese people love brand-names. A Japanese girl I met back in my university days owned a wallet that cost her over 150,000 yen (roughly $1,500 -$ 1750) and when I asked her how she got it, she told me that she worked an entire summer just for the sake of purchasing this single wallet…

And this love for brands doesn’t just come in the form of wallets, bags, and clothes… It reaches its way into everything from food and drinks, to schools, and even… people…

My name is X and I am a brand-name foreigner.

That’s right. Brand Name.
No, it’s not that I own many brands… in fact, I have never really been a fan of them. But rather, in this strange country known as “Japan”, I am a brand. And a seemingly fancy one at that!

I was inspired to pull this piece together after remembering a day many years ago when I was walking hand-in-hand with a Japanese girl in a countryside town near Kyushu. We walked past a group of girls who with eyes open wide, spit out a line that left me speechless:

“いいな～あたしも外人欲しい~！オシャレ！” (Aww~ I want a foreigner too! So fashionable!)

Me = Floored.

Now it is no secret that Japanese think it’s cool to speak English.
And it is no secret that Japanese think it’s cool to have foreign friends.
But it comes to a point where the line needs to be drawn.

If you read my post about finding your own in Japan, you will know how strongly I feel about re-calibrating our social filters in order to avoid unnecessary stresses. In my first few years in Japan, I met a great number of people. And while some turned out to be true friends, others seemed to have ulterior motives.

Years ago, I was (or at least thought I was) good friends with a Japanese man that we will call ‘Tak‘.
Tak was a pretty average Japanese guy aside from the fact that he spent his university days overseas in an English-speaking country. This is where we met.
When I met Tak, he went through truly great lengths to get to know me, and work his way into my social circle.
We spent several years together, studying, drinking, and generally just hanging out. Tak was even kind enough to show me around Tokyo and introduce me to a staggering number of his friends the first time I visited.
But when I moved to Tokyo, the nuance of our friendship seemed to shift.

When I arrived back in Japan, Tak insisted on getting together with me in the first week, and I happily obliged. He said that he wanted more than anything to introduce me to his new girlfriend, and as a long time friend, I looked forward to meeting her. But when he introduced me with the line, “This is X. He is one of my foreign friends!!”, to which she responded with “aww~ I wish I had foreign friends”, it set off a little light in my head and reminded me of a warning I once received from perhaps one of the most cynical Japanese friends I ever made. Her words rang in my ear,

You really shouldn’t trust Japanese people who try too hard to be your friend. To some Japanese people, foreigners are just like brands; Being seen with one is good for your image.

But after our dinner together, I felt re-assured that he was still the same great guy, and he just wanted to introduce me to his girl. That is, until the next time he invited me out…

We got together for dinner with one of his co-workers for dinner a couple weeks later. It was at this dinner, that I was introduced as one of his many ‘Gaijin’ friends. After which he proceeded to nearly ignore his co-worker and speak to me in English the entire night. The co-worker could not understand English.
When the co-worker finally commented on his own lack of English skill, without skipping a beat, Tak spit out the words, “X will teach you English! In fact, he’ll teach you for free!”

WHAT?! oh no no no…. I am not an English teacher.
… but that as well, is for another post…

Long story short, Tak and I exchanged  words. But in the end, he tried to pull the exact same routine 2 more times.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, and you’re a dick.

Tak was a lesson learned. But in the end he only serves as an example of a single area of this issue…

One of the Japanese guys who works in my office has a girlfriend who is from Poland. He seems to genuinely care for her and always treats her with respect. But every single time he meets a new Japanese person in a social setting, like clockwork, he manages to work the line “my girlfriend is a foreigner” into the conversation.
It’s actually quite impressive.

Add to this, the number of times I have had a Japanese girlfriend use the words “Let’s go out somewhere today! I want to show you off!”, and you have somewhat of an epidemic….

Back in 2010 my best friend’s (Japanese) girlfriend pretty much summed it up:

Japanese people love something exotic. Have you seen all those strange flavors of Pepsi in the convenience stores? We live on an island. An island filled with Japanese people, ruled by Japanese culture, and share a similar Japanese way of thinking. So what could be more exotic to a Japanese person than someone/something not Japanese? Even now [in 2010], most Japanese people cannot speak English, and so even the thought of interacting with a foreigner is unfathomable to some people. Which means when a Japanese person looks at another Japanese person who is hanging out with a foreigner, they see someone doing the unimaginable. It’s like watching someone do magic!! And everyone loves magic tricks right? So, we love to be seen with foreigners. For some it is a novelty, and for some it becomes a lifestyle, but it is what it is and it’s probably not going to change anytime soon, so it’s better to just make the best of it.

And that is exactly what some people do…
I once lived with a guy from NZ who made his living off of capitalizing on this very point!

And honestly speaking, if this is the biggest of your problems while in Japan, I think it’s safe to say that you’re doing pretty good for yourself…

Jun
11

Am I Invisible?

Am I invisible? – A seemingly reasonable question for people living in big cities like Tokyo.

As any foreigner in Japan will tell you within moments of setting foot in the country, you are far from being invisible in Japan. Even in a major metropolis like Tokyo which is full of international restaurants and claims to be aiming to be a larger part of the global market, foreigner (or gaijin as they are referred to by so many of the Japanese around) are still stared at on a daily basis.

We are stared at, even monit0red in so many everyday situations. Japanese people watch us as we walk down the street, or stare at us as we sit on a train. Our neighbors will monitor our every move to make sure that we are separating our garbage correctly and that we are putting it our on the right day in the correct spot. Even friends and family of friends watch us in awe and amazement as we masterfully display our capabilities in using the ancient device known as Chopsticks. And even Police will ask us to stop so they can check our bicycle registration or bags, just because.

Nearly every minute of every day (that we are around people at least), we are being watched, monitored, and even judged by the Japanese people around us.

So why is it that Japanese people seem to think that they are completely invisible?!?!
Not sure what I’m talking about?…

Even if you have been in Japan (especially a big city like Tokyo or Osaka) for a short time, I challenge you to think back to how many times you have seen the following things happen right out in public:

Nose Picking
(and I’m not talking about a quick clean and wipe but rather a full-on gold hunt)
For more on this, check out Japanese Gold Diggers.

Public sleeping
(everything from sleepy people on the train to drunk salary-men on the streets)
Check out – Sleepy Japanese People, Don’t Sleep on Me (>_<)

Blatant crotch scratching
Or even someone simply touching their crotch repeatedly for no reason

And if I had to dig into the deep and dirty, I could even go as far as sexual harassment on trains.
Most of these people really aren’t that subtle or secretive about it. Sometimes it’s so open and obvious, that its hard to believe that its happening right in front of your eyes. (For a more in-depth example of what I’m talking about check out my post about the 14-year-old pervert)

Most, if not all of these behaviors (and more that I haven’t listed) are visible all around us and are so blatant that with enough time in Japan, it’s easy to forget that these things are not normal. If you were to ask a Japanese person what they think about seeing someone pick their nose or scratch their magic area in public, you may be surprised to see them shrug it off with a laugh and a “well, that’s Japan“.

Now, while its fair to assume that in a very crowded area, people tend to feel more of a sense of anonymity and get the feeling that nobody is looking at them, this only really accounts for a few of these actions….
But what about the 19-year-old Yankii standing and talking to 5 of his friends while he gives his **** a good scratch-a-roo?!?!

Years ago while hanging out with a group of street-racers here in Tokyo, there was a guy who it didn’t matter where he was, who he was talking to, or what he was doing, he just seemed to feel the need to give himself a good old rub. At first I kind of assumed he was itchy (that would have been the logical conclusion anyway) but over time it became more and more apparent that he just really liked touching himself…
What really threw me for a loop is that nobody seemed to care or even notice (O.o)
And while this is a somewhat extreme and even rare example, I find myself wishing that I could say he was the only person I ever saw do this…

I will tag in here, that Japan is not entirely unique in this sense. I would be hard pressed to try and claim that you wouldn’t see similar things in any other city in the world. In fact, if you were to go to NYC, I am sure you would see a range of actions that would blow you mind, but this is not the U.S.A Rants, it’s The Japan Rants!

And so I put the question that every Japanese person in Tokyo should be asking, flat on the table:

Am I invisible?

 

 

May
13

Sleepy Japanese People – Dont Sleep on Me

The Japanese sleep everywhere. It’s actually quite amazing and it was something I didn’t expect when I first came to Japan.

If I were to ask you what Japan is famous for, what would you say?

If you ask most people outside of Japan this question, you will most likely get answers like samurai, ninja, geisha, sumo, hello kitty, etc… If you ask people living in the country, someone is bound to bring up the incredible and undeniable ability that Japanese people have to sleep anywhere and in any position.

Japanese people seem to have no qualms with sleeping in public, and with even the most minimal amount of research, one can pull up countless blogs, articles, youtube videos and more….

In fact just for good measure, here is a list of a few of my favorite posts:

LoneleePlanet.com

http://www.loneleeplanet.com/2010/01/publicly-sleeping-salarymen/

A great post that not only features some very interesting photos,
but also breaks them down into interestingly named categories!

Kirainet.com
http://www.kirainet.com/english/japanese-sleeping/
An interesting post with some really good shots of J-Sleepers

JapanTalk.com
http://www.japan-talk.com/jt/new/how-to-sleep-in-japan
A great set of photos with an opener that would almost encourage giving it a try~

OneInchPunch.net
http://www.oneinchpunch.net/2007/09/08/sleeping-japanese-people-in-public/
Another decent photo post of Japanese people sleeping in public
*Spoiler Alert* – Last pic is not for the weak-of-stomach…

All of these illustrate the point pretty well. And I have quite the collection of my own photos that I may get around to adding to this post in the near future.
As you can see, Japanese people have managed to do what they have done with so many other simple daily tasks and actions and get the whole sleeping in public skill down to an incomparable art form. We can try to mimic it, but we will never do it quite as well, or in such impressive numbers.

So a fair question to be asking at this point is, ‘if you’re so for Japanese people passing out in public, then where’s the problem?’
The problem lies in that while I may get a hoot out of seeing Japanese people passed out on the streets, trains, toilets, temples, and whatever other locations they choose for their one-man slumber parties, I have no patience for that ever so infamous moment when the person sitting beside me on the train passes out and figures it a good idea to utilize me as their pillow…

Simply put, I do not like when people fall asleep on me on the train.

Most Japanese people will tell you there are 3 common ways of reacting to this situation.
People either:
a) Act as if nothing is happening at all (or even accommodate the sleeper in some way)
b) Get uncomfortable and discreetly try and either get away, or move the sleeper
c) Move or wake-up the sleeper with little-to-no hesitation

I would safely fall under category (c).
Now don’t get me wrong… It’s not that I don’t appreciate the warm sentiment or that I hate human contact, but rather that I find it unbelievably rude and inconsiderate. I am shocked that in a country where it is custom that while riding a train, you speak in a quiet voice, and never use your cellphone, that people find it A-OK to just pass out on the people around them.

Actually, there was an exact moment that triggered this post.
It was a short while ago, and I was on the morning train with one of my Japanese co-workers. We had been on the train for about 10 minutes when the girl beside me started to lean my way. She was a young girl, probably in her mid-20′s. She had the big hair, the fake eyelashes, the platform heels, and that smell that usually only comes from someone who has been out all-night and is making an early-morning return to their 1-room apartment after.
As she started to slowly lean my way, I knew I was in an undesirable position…

In any normal situation, I would have just nudged her and woken her up. Or maybe even changed seats. But this day was different.
I had a Japanese co-worker with me, and if you have read my post about working with Japanese people, you can understand that the last thing I wanted was to lose face.
And so… I let her sleep.

But at what cost? Really… What could the danger be… right?
Well, it turns out that the danger was that this wonderful young lady, was kind enough to share some of her make-up. With my suit.

But it’s ok right? Because I managed to save face with this Japanese co-worker.
Or at least that’s how I tried to view it.
Until we got to work and the rest of the Japanese staff spent the day staring at the make-up stain…
Did anyone say anything to me about it? – No.
Did my morning comrade have the decency to explain about it? – No.
So I’m pretty sure we can all guess what they were thinking….

All of this undue stress combined with the cleaning bill for my jacket, and you have to wonder,

How has this become a social norm in a country where people typically go out of their way to avoid bothering others?!

You have to stop and wonder at some point whether or not it is all really an accident.

I watched to strangers fall asleep on each other just the other night, and as the train ride went on, they seemed to be getting more and more comfortable with each other. It was a Tuesday night, it was fairly early, and neither one of them seemed to be intoxicated…
The girl fell asleep first. Her head slowly fell to the guys shoulder. And then, magically the guy started to fall asleep as well. Within seconds, her head was on his shoulder, and his head was resting on hers.
They stayed like this for a good 20 minutes or more, and the longer they stayed in that position, the more suspicious the whole thing became…

If you think about it. Even when people do fall asleep on the train, they usually wake up (or at least half wake up) at each station. Right?

So how is it that neither one of these 2 woke up even once in the span of over 10 stations…?

When I first released this post, there was a lot of comments by people who said that they didn’t mind as long as the person who fell asleep on them in the train was both, of the opposite gender, and attractive. So I talked to a few of my friends and co-workers and found that a large majority of people here in Japan feel this way.

“it’s not crazy to imagine that some people might actually enjoy the physical contact. Even if it IS from a stranger“, Said one of my co-workers.

But in the end, it’s still not for me. So Dear Japan, please don’t sleep on me.

 

May
12

Working With Japanese People

I work for a Japanese company. And this means working with Japanese people. Not an easy task.

I still remember the day that I got the news that I would become a full-time worker in a Japanese company. I remember where I was sitting, who I was with, and even what I was drinking. It was a significant moment and one that marked a major change in my life here in Japan. I was excited. Very excited.
But this was a double edged sword…

While working for a Japanese company and working with Japanese people can be a great experience in more ways than I can count, it can also be one of the most crushing and stressful experiences that a non-Japanese person can experience.

Note:
I sat on this post for a while, really on the fence as to whether or not I wanted to post it.
Most of my experiences working with Japanese people have been good, if not great.
And I have a great deal of respect for every single person that I work with.
But that is not to say that it has been without its hard times.
And after hearing some horror stories from other people,
I realized it was time to put this post together…

I had always heard stories from friends of mine who worked in Japan as ALTs, programmers, consultants, etc.., that working along side Japanese people can be terribly stressful and more often than not feels like walking a tight rope above a fire pit while juggling chainsaws. There’s just so much that can go wrong…

But I never thought it would affect me. I have been living side-by-side with Japanese people for over 10 years and have been speaking the language just as long. I picked up on Japanese language and culture when I was young and was surrounded with people who I could speak and grow with. I studied Japanese business culture and Japanese business etiquette in anticipation of working in Japan, and got into a Japanese company at an early, but reasonable age.

And in my first couple of years working with Japanese people I came to understand exactly what everyone meant.
It was a totally different world than what I was prepared for.

Now, there are a large number of factors that contribute to the complexity and the difficulties one may have when working with Japanese people. And to save time, space, and your eyes, I have decided to put a few of these points in a list (which will probably be updated as time goes on), for easy reading and convenience:

The List

  • No matter how good your Japanese is or how long you have been in Japan. Unless you are a native-Japanese speaker raised in Japanese culture, you will be seen as a foreigner / outsider
  • Japanese people tend to form cliques or small groups (remember high school? Japanese people do!). Even Japanese people who are not a part of the clique or group are viewed as outsiders.
  • Most (if not all) Japanese people have 2 faces – one for work, social interactions, etc and one for family and very close friends (they will almost never show you the later)
    • Note: This is not a dishonesty thing as much as it is a working in harmony thing
  • Most foreigners do not understand the concept of ‘wa‘ (harmony) as it applies in Japanese social and work culture
  • Japanese co-workers or colleagues may not fully understand your job, and definitely assume that you understand nothing of theirs
  • Japanese people are not relaxed at work. If you are, you will stand out in a negative way
  • Your Japanese co-workers or colleagues may not completely understand what you are trying to say
  • You may not completely understand what your Japanese co-workers or colleagues are trying to say
  • Attempting to rectify either of the preceding 2 points can easily lead to getting stuck between a rock and a hard place in the sense that:
    • a) If you try to simplify your communication to make things more clear, you may end up being too direct
    • b) Trying to be indirect in English can lead to confusing Japanese staff even more
    • c) Trying to be indirect in Japanese if it is not your native language, can easily lead to dangerous mis-communications
  • Japanese tend not to forgive. Therefore, if any of the following happen,
    you are potentially in hot water for a while:
    • You’re caught being lazy, taking personal calls, etc (basically if you’re caught doing anything… you’re in the dog house)
    • You show up late even once
    • You allow yourself to get and or show frustration, stress, or anger
    • You argue with or make any negative comment to someone
    • You fail at an attempt to indirectly say something negative
    • You fail to follow the silent chain of command
    • You fail to communicate information in the proper format
    • You don’t have an answer ready when you are asked a question
    • You say that a request that has been made of you is impossible
    • You say “no” or “sorry, I can’t” to almost anything
    • You give your honest opinion rather than the acceptable shared opinion
    • You show up for work or leave work On Time
    • You converse with your Japanese co-workers either too much or too little

This list could probably get a lot longer, but for everyone’s sake, I will limit it to its current contents.

And trust me when I say that if you’re doing good, they will test you. It is far from uncommon for a Japanese person to suddenly say something direct and aggressive (this is usually done in a compact, brief comment that passes as soon as it came), simply for the point of getting a reaction.
Sounds childish? It is.
And for many people this tends to set them over the edge. They allow themselves to get flustered, or react, or even go and complain to the wrong person in the chain of command. And then you’re up the creek without a paddle…

So, it’s at this point that you’re probably wondering either what you can do to make working with Japanese people easier, or if it’s even worth it at all…

Some people will tell you that it will help you to learn the language. Others will tell you that having a strong understanding of Japanese business etiquette or Japanese business culture will be the key. And some people will try to sell you the idea that if you work long, hard hours, that even as a foreigner, you will surely be accepted in the Japanese workplace.

I am here to tell you that while each of those may hold some merit, it is my experience that none of them are worth a grain of sand in comparison to just not caring.
Sure, at first glance this may seem counterproductive to the cause, but in the end, just going in to work, doing your job to the best of your ability, being polite and considerate, putting in overtime every now and then, and simply not giving a s*** what your Japanese co-workers think of you is the only sure-fire way to get through the day with your sanity intact.

Maybe this is already you! And perhaps you haven’t had a single negative experience working with Japanese people. And if that’s the case, good for you!
But if not, then this is something to keep in mind.
It took me a while to learn this, and since I have, every day at the office has been a lot better.
Yes, they will still test you every now and then, but just put on a smile, comply and at the end of the day, detach!

There is a lot more that I was planning to add to this post…
I was originally going to make it more about racism in the Japanese workplace but it would seem that we will cover that in a separate post.

For now, I hope this helps.

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts, anecdotes, stories, and opinions in the comments section~

Apr
28

Japanese People and Drunken Explosions

The title pretty much says it all. Japanese people… Tightly wound and constantly practicing enryo* and gamman* (the Japanese practices of ‘holding back’). But when the sake (or beer… or whiskey… or whatever the drink du-jour happens to be) gets flowing, it all comes undone.

I can’t count the number of times that I have seen the following happen:
End of year - bounenkai party season – all the office members make their way to an izakaya (Japanese bars) and the drinks start to flow. All fun and games at first, and then at some point in the evening a fight breaks out. There is yelling, there is screaming, and from time to time there is even a little bit of physical violence. Maybe someone gets a little too irritated with the new guy who wont shut up, or maybe Mr. Shy finally gets up the drunken nerve to tell the office cutie just what he thinks about her and her short skirts… But no matter what the situation, the example is illustrated.

And it doesn’t just stop there. Believe it or not, its not an uncommon occurrence for a Japanese man who lives away from his family to call in a drunken rage and proceed to yell at his wife blaming all his problems on her. Then, as if that isn’t quite enough, he’ll even go so far as to make her put the kids on the phone so he can share the brunt of his drunken decision with them!

And if the office and the home were where it stopped, you might not be reading this post.
But as it would seem, it seems to seep its way into the streets, parks, trains, and anywhere that these drunken time-bombs walk.

My story comes to you back from the year 2007… I was sitting on a bullet train on my way to Sendai Japan when a man who smelled of alcohol from 5 meters away decided to wobble his way over to the seat next to me and try and start up a conversation. To add to everything, he thought it would help his cause to speak English.

He slammed himself into the seat next to me and opened the conversation with “My daughter’s a b****” (which I would later find out he was mistaking for the word “whore”).  My jaw hit the floor and his story began.
The next 25+ minutes (which felt close to an hour) was filled with his attempt at telling a story in English…
What was the story about? While I could barely understand a word that came out of his mouth, his message was still crystal clear: He was not happy.

My tipping point in this particular conversation was when the man started going on and on about how his daughter liked gaijin and how gaijin were destroying this country, his daughter, and his life.
Honestly… what in the world could have possibly possessed this man to think that I would be the person to talk to about this?!?!
But I just kept telling myself, ‘He’s Drunk. He’s Drunk‘ figuring that it would come to a sleepy end soon enough. But then the bomb finally went off and he spit out the line that I suppose was inevitable,

“So go back your country foreigner”.

At this point, my face kinda looked like this –> (O.o)

I was tired, he was drunk, and honestly, I just wanted to enjoy my train ride.
So, I thanked him for the conversation and stood up.
And what does he do? He grabs my arm and pulls me back down into my seat. And to this, my reaction was less than passive.
I grabbed his hand by the wrist, looked him in the eye, and asked him quite sternly not to touch me again.
He paused for a moment.

And then… something mysterious happened…

He reached for his bag… and as if pulling a rabbit out of a hat, he pulls out a bottle of Japanese alcohol.
He holds it in front of me and with an almost mischievous grin on his face, says, “let’s drinking!”

What would you do?
I have never really been one to turn down interesting opportunities or situations in my life, and so I accepted.

As the time passed and the contents of the bottle depleted, the tension that once filled the air dissipated and the man who once seemed my enemy was now seeming much more like my friend.
We drank and talked (or at least tried to talk) for over a good hour. We showed pictures of our loved ones, talked about the good and bad of Japan, shared life stories and laughs, and even exchanged business cards. And in the end it came to a close just as I had originally predicted… He fell asleep. And that was it. I got off at my stop with another story in my pocket, and a difficulty walking a straight line.

He didn’t really want to fight. They very rarely do.

And so we wrap up yet another rant. Hopefully a little wiser, or at the very least, feeling slightly entertained.

After speaking to friends, colleagues, and random Japan-lovers about this, I found that many people have their own unique and interesting stories in this area, so I invite you to share!!

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