Being Stared at by Japanese People
“I’m sick and tired of being stared at by Japanese people all day, every day, everywhere I go.“, said the Australian man in his late 20′s sitting 2 tables away.
To which his friend replied, “Then go back to Australia.”
This is Japan. And if you are foreign, chances are that people are going to stare at you.
It doesn’t seem to matter that we are living in the 21st century, and that foreigners, or gaijin are no longer a rarity in Japan. People stare. And it’s probably not going to go away any time soon.
And while I would think it safe to assume that this staring at foreigners phenomenon would be more common in areas where there are less foreigners, in my experience, it has actually been quite the opposite.
While in Tokyo, I am stared at on a regular basis, I find that in the countryside, mountains, small towns, and minor fishing villages, etc.. (I… travel a lot for work) I am more or less treated… well… a little more normally.
People will make passing eye contact, nod, greet, or generally treat me the same as any other visitor. In smaller towns when someone does stare at me, I can usually expect it to be followed with some form of (attempted) conversation. Which all-in-all, if I have the time, is never a bad thing.
And while some of this could be chopped up to good old fashioned small town hospitality, it doesn’t change the fact that from time to time, some foreigners might want to be invisible too.
Some people are bothered by this. In fact, some people are seemingly overly bothered by this… to the point of starting fights or even changing seats/train cars/etc.. just to get away from it.
I was unfortunate enough to witness a North American man in his late 30′s freak out on a Japanese man on a train a few years back, just because the Japanese man was staring.
Now in his defense, the Japanese man had been staring relentlessly for about 25 minutes straight when the gaijin man, who was growing increasingly uncomfortable and irritated throughout the duration of the train ride, finally snapped.
He stood up, walked right up to the Japanese man and started yelling, “WHAT?! …SERIOUSLY?!?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?!…..”
I wish I had more of a story here for you, but I was somewhat embarrassed to be in the same train car at the time, and decided it might be best to switch cars.
I guess everyone has their own feelings when it comes to being stared at…
For me it has become a part of life in Japan that has seemingly faded into the background like the noisy pachinko parlors or the vending machines that sell neckties and beer. From time to time I will notice, but for the most part I don’t.
When I first came to Japan, being stared at was a point that really stood out to me (especially being stared at on a train… I felt like there was no escape), and whenever I was with Japanese friends, I would always ask the golden question:
Why do Japanese people always stare at gaijin (foreigners)?
And with the number of times I have asked that question, I find it amazing that the only seemingly legitimate answer I ever received is, “Because we can. Japanese people can’t stare at other Japanese people, but for some reason we feel that staring at a foreigner is something we can get away with.”
But I guess when it comes down to it, we have to accept that there’s nothing we can do about being stared at.
Or is there…?
While most people who notice, simply choose to ignore it or pretend that they are sleeping, some people choose to have a little more fun with it.
My old roommate J, used to make a game of it by seeing how long he could hold eye contact with people. (surprisingly, top record sits over two and a half minutes!)
A Swedish girl that works in the same building as me uses it as an opportunity to show off her magic tricks with coins, pencils, etc..
And my friend’s son (9-yrs-old) has made it routine to get into games of peek-a-boo or rock-paper-scissors with people who stare at him! (props to the minor on the creativity here lol)
But I think one of the more well known ideas comes from an artist named Arni Kristjansson.
Arni designed a (very legitimate looking) book cover which has been dubbed The Staring Book.
The Staring Book book-cover makes any book you are reading, look like a fictional book called, “日本人はなぜ外国人を見つめる？“ (Why do Japanese People Stare at Foreigners?) and has built quite a following. The cover has been featured on such sites as CNNGo, and Rocketnews24 and for anyone interested, is download-able in PDF format on Arni’s page!
Everybody has their own way of perceiving and reacting to being stared at.
And whether it drives you to the point of emotional breakdowns on the Tokyo subway system, or doesn’t faze you at all, it’s safe to say that it comes with the territory.
So if you are in Japan and hate being stared at, get a book cover, play some peek-a-boo, do a magic trick or two, or as the Australian guys friend said, go home.
To be honest, for me, I think the staring gets scary sometimes when it’s Japanese men. But that’s something that’s carried over from my home country where being constantly stared at by an older, bigger man could be dangerous in some cases. I guess for some women, in that way, the situation could be a little more uncomfortable. Especially when the stares are often directed first at your chest, and then at your face. I’m always surprised by the number of Japanese men who seem to have never learned that women have boobs, and think that it’s perfectly polite to stare at them hours on end, even when they’ve already been caught. (And I can honestly say I dress pretty refined–low-cut shirts just aren’t my thing. So it’s not like I’m giving them some cleavage to stare at. -_-;;)
Generally when I get people staring at me and if it’s starting to frustrate me, I play the staring game your friend did. I’ll stare back until they look away. But I think the other tricks your friends came up with are very clever! I’d like to try the book thing!
(And while I do understand staring at a “unique” face, the reason the Japanese people gave doesn’t seem a very good one… =( )
Thanks for your hard work on another article!
About 2 years ago my girlfriend from the US came to visit me in Tokyo and I thought for sure she was going to go nuts on the trains. She is a skinny girl with a large C-cup and was constantly stared at. We were on the train one day and a whole row of Japanese guys were just fixated on her tits, and she was furious the entire train ride, but they didnt seem to care.
Honestly, being stared at still pisses me off. I dont get aggressive about it, but it just seems unbelievably low-class and primitive for Japan.
I was at a McDonalds today in Shibuya, and a woman in her late 30s was staring at me for over 20 minutes. Even if I held eye-contact with her, she wouldnt look away. It really stops you from being able to relax.
And I hate how some people stare at you like they are pissed off. What is up with that?!? If you do that back in the states or in Canada, UK, Aus, etc… you are going to get knocked down.
Gawd! I already had typed my comment about the book cover in here before reading through the end, but apparently you already knew about it!
I got ot know about it quite a while ago and I think it’s an awesome idea.
Apparently there are countries where staring is even worse … or people stare more shamelessly (e.g. China).
Being stared at is something you’ll never get used to, I guess.
But we can all try to deal with it somehow.
I am annoyed by it. Not overly .. like I wouldn’t stand up and yell at people although sometimes I’d love to.
I had a lot of different experiences. I travel a lot, too.
First of all, I think it also depends on the region and not so much if it’s a big city or inaka.
In some parts of Japan I’ve got the staring and pointing a lot, in others almost none!
I hate kids point at me and scream “Gaijiiiiin!!” so everybody else would turn around, too.
The mother was right next to that kid, but didn’t tell the kid to stop.
I had a girl in Starbucks stare at me. She had to completely turn over to do that, so it was super obvious. She sat right next to me just a few cm away.
After a while I asked her in Japanese if there was something in my face.
Usually a kid would freak out, feel embarrassed and turn away, no?
Or at least the mother (who was sitting right next to her) would tell her to stop.
But no, she just continued to stare.
It was sooooo annoying!
I had guys taking photos of me secretly … I felt like a zoo animal.
I also noticed that the staring doubles once you’re not alone but with another gaijin.
It gets really bad when you’re in a group of foreigners.
At least I can cope better when I’m not the only one who gets all the staring.
I hate to be the center of attention.
The first time I was in Japan, I was with a Japanese friend and a fellow Aussie. When my Japanese friend was with us, we never got stares but the first time we went somewhere without her, we were stared at all day. I found it to be the worst at Disneyland, where children would point and whole groups of teenagers would stare openly. The last time I was in Japan just with an Aussie friend, I barely noticed the staring, I think I was just used to it. Now it doesn’t really bother me unless, like some people above have said, it is an older man who won’t stop looking, because I am a female in my 20′s and have been brought up weary of situations like that. I think it’s just one of those things that you have to expect if you are white and are traveling to Japan, which can be annoying at times. My partner is Cantonese and doesn’t speak Japanese, yet he is mistaken for a Japanese person daily when in Japan.
Pingback: Get over the staring. | Adrienne in Japan
Pingback: Japanese Upskirt Chikan - The Japan Rants
That is very surprising to me.
Where I live in america, people usually look around their environment in public places (like train). I was shocked in Japan to see that everybody was just looking at their journal or cellphone. I was actually hoping to get more eye-contacts! Some Japanese people do look at me but as soon as I do eye-contact with them they looked away!
When you are in Japan, look around. Notice that it isn’t exactly a country like America where everyone is of a different nationality and race. Japan mostly consists of just Japanese people who do not often see foreigners. You can’t blame them for staring at you, especially if you are a huge , tall white guy compared to the average, short and thin Japanese person. Japanese people are much more shy but may be curious as they see a foreigner. As the other poster mentioned, Japanese people usually spend more time staring at their cell phone than the people around them.
I have bright red hair,seriously red.Im also 4 foot 10 and compared with the japanese im overweight.I travelled to Osaka,Tokyo,Hokkai and many more places and i didnt notice anyone staring at me apart from once in Tokyo.Japanese people are wonderful and kind and polite and in the uk i get stared at every single day in the uk.I was in Japan 12 days and i saw maybe 5 non japanese people on my travels.I preferred the other areas of japan to Tokyo,i found Tokyo to be more dirty,more noisy and the people were less polite (they push and shove to get on trains whereas in all the other areas i never saw anything but utmost politeness).